March 09, 2005


I had a welcome break meditating but the whole time it was almost impossible to steer my mind away from my Finsbury park documentary story to focus on my breath. Now I am back I wonder what I am left with and if it is still viable.

If Abu Abdullah had agreed to this project first time I proposed it over a year ago the Mirror newspaper would never have been able to do their "exposed!" story. If he had agreed the last time I had a meeting with a profesional lined up which he backed out of we would have been filming at exactly the same time as the Mirror guys infiltrated and we'd have had a fantastic story.

Now they've been kicked out, with apparently no hope or wish to return I'm not sure my documentary is still current or what angle to take it from. The whole thing is hugely frustrating. I can't blame anyone. If I had been in the eye of the hugely inordinate media atention at Finsbury park mosque I suppose I would believe evil Zionists control everything on TV too.

As far as I am concerned I have no idea whether this is true or not but have never had a problem presenting the fact that this is what they believe. Thats what a fucking documentary is no?

I always took the view that if a TV company got hold of a film claiming to show the views of Abu Hamza's friends which didn't say they believed that a secret Zionist elite ran the world they would want their money back no?

I've never considered myself to be "On their side." but watching them completely fuck it up for themselves week in week out, making sure only a threatening portrayal of their beliefs gets to the TV whilst I've been on the sidelines trying to get this going has been excruciatingly painful at times. I needed to lock myself away to meditate.

Abu Abdullah was so convinced anything I did would never reach the TV undoctored he never gave me the chance to find out for myself. Maybe its still possible that I'll get the chance as Hamza's court case is still current.

I suppose its possible that whatever I do will be forensically picked apart and reeditted by evil Zionist media wizards to make the Muslims look like terrorists but I've always doubted it. I don't think it is technically possible to make anything worse than they gave BBC and ITV news for 2 years.

The moral of the story?

If you spend two years of your life trying to document the views of people whos religion you don't share who are having all the evils of terrorism laid at their door by the whole worlds media, don't expect to get them to trust you in a hurry even if you do have bones through your earlobes.

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