MAINTAIN FOCUS

If you were living to your full potential what would you be doing? A guy called Dave made this film when he was diagnosed with cancer and only had a couple of months to live. DONT WATCH IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH.

I am no longer wrapped up in "achievement" or "success" in middle class terminology. I think Hamza's story is a huge thing, but if no major broadcasters agree I don't mind. I've had fun getting turned down, I haven't looked for funding anywhere. I'd still like to finnish a film but I'm not sure where the story is going next. Glen Jenvey said he'd be happy to film in January when the trial restarts.

Everything I have so far is filmed with a one chip tourist camera which I still technically own but haven't seen for a while. I got a good reaction using this compared to people with big cameras which the Islamists tended to "posture up" to or try to destroy. The downside is its all shaky and the sound is all over the place.

I've come to realise that there are various artistic things you can do with film which don't involve traditional film making techniques, and videologging is an art in itself anyway. Sitting with my next door neighbours yesterday a girl casualy pulled one of these out and said she'd be happy to film with me. I've always wondered what Hamza's crew would make of a female camera person. There is a general view that women are treated badly in Islam. I've never spoken to any of the "sisters" of the Supporters of Shareeah. It seems women and men lead seperate lives. Certianly on their demonstrations the women seem as angry and enthusiastic as the menfolk.

"Do you agree with hitting women?" a journalist once asked one of the brothers in Finsbury park once.

"No. Do you?" was the answer.

They always tell me proudly that loads of women are converting to Islam in this country. My bet is that it won't make any difference. If anything judging from what Hajj told me, they would probably be quite relieved to see that I am not gay. Meeting a woman similarly pierced about the face (which she is) they'd probably wonder whether there was a tribe of us somewhere.

I know they are not allowed to touch women's hands, but I reckon they believe "Dawa" is to present a warm reflection of Islam rather than to be overly judgmental.