ROBIN COOK

I wasn't going to pay much attention to the election this time around, but the deeksters new election blog five.org guilted me into it. This led me to Bethnal green to check out the Ooooona vs. Galloway square-up (see LIBERAL EXTREMISTS?) which was fun, but still didn't make me feel like voting.

After my outburst about intellectual elitism I've had a change of heart. I've decided that bloggers are the new elite and we should all henceforth sneer down our noses at everyone who isn't obsessivley clicking, downloading free site meters, uploading photos and inflicting their commentary on the world for free. Right wing or left WE are the elite and everyone else is beneath us SO THERE. We must stick together, develop a code of conduct and not let anyone else into our tiny little posse.

Clicking through five.org (a bloggers election coverage and therefore cosher for THE ELITE) I saw this invite to a Labour "hustings" where our ex-Foreign secretary (who famously resigned over the war) was going to explain to us why we should still vote Labour. I went along, more in hopes of meeting up with deek for the first time, but also half interested in what the Politicians would have to say.

I got there early, there were maybe five geeky looking people in the room. They looked at me nervously and admitted to being members of the Labour party.

"Is this Labour party members only?" I asked.

They assured me it wasn't and then studiously ignored me. As I sat there, the small room filled up with more geeks. Now these are not the type of geeks associated with computers (strange looking closet anarchists who hack in their spare time) but a special sort of political geek

(strange looking people from... well fuck nose! I've really got to get into this...where the fuck do people come from who discuss what conditon a Labour party banner was in since the last time they got it out?... I also overheard them discussing how to overthrow Tony Blair)

Its wierd, I met exactly the same sort of people at a Socialist Alliance meeting they tried to throw us out of just before the war. (see DAY-X)

This got me wondering whether Tory hustings would be full of the same sort of geeks but with more money. What is it about politics which attracts such huge media attention but such tiny groups of misfits in real life? Whatever it is, when it changes so will the country.


GALLOWAY! shout the media. I turn up, there are 600 people in the room.

ROBIN COOK! and there are about 60.

By my reckoning I should write SQUAT PARTY, 1000 people turn up and we should make the front pages no? With loads of journalists turning up to write about who has fallen out with who, about such and such a DJ's set or so and so's bad ketamine.


Robin Cook was actually quite a passable comedian. I had met Jeremy Corbyn before when they first reopened Finsbury Park Mosque (see THE BROTHERS GONNA WORK IT OUT). Then and now he comes across as quite honest for a politician. And he cycles everywhere which would get my vote in itself if I were in his constituency.

When the war first started I was much more angry which made me much braver. Sitting surrounded by political geeks I didn't pipe up come question time. (fucking chicken)The question I didn't ask:

"Robin, I'm not really that into politics and I'm a bit thick, like, but didn't you announce Britains first ever Ethical defence policy and then sell arms to the Indonesians?"