Yeah yeah yeah

I had a dream the other day that I put a bet on the favourite in a horse race at 7 to 1. I woke up to find it was Grand National day. I cycled off to the bookies to find the favourite was about 16 to 2. It didn't feel right so I didn't put the bet on. Later I cycled into town and went into another bookies. Again it didn't feel right. I came out of the bookies and totally by chance bumped into an ex-attendee of Finsbury park mosque.

I went into another bookies and found an earlier race with a favourite at 7 to 1. I put a fiver on it to win and, sure enough, as usual on the rare occasion when I put a bet on a horse, the race was run, the commentator got really excited shouting the names of the horses in contention never once mentioning the name of my horse. I suppose I dreamt that I put the bet on, I didn't dream whether the bloody thing won or not.

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Filming the NF the other day, and a post I found on "the Nation of Duncan" have made me reexamine my motivations in an interesting way. I obviously look for the human characteristics in people that others would describe as inhuman. Why? I suppose I must still be idealistic in some sort of way. Fuck knows why.

I would enjoy doing a character study, for example, on the guy at the end of the film who talks about Combat 18. He is interesting. A smart arse film maker might be able to gain his confidence and do a hatchet job on him. Whats the fucking point though? Its been done and solved nothing. Surely its more of a challenge to address the points they make full on, with accurate representation of what they are saying.

Why does everything on TV need to be spun to shit? What is wrong with filming what people say? Humanity really isn't hard to find. It depends how you go about it.

When I look at anti-fascist groups, and how important it is for them to label their enemy I feel sad. I think to define yourself by your enemy, which is what you are doing, is a mistake. Maybe that is Zippy Buddhist post-rave shit philosophy. I just don't feel any need to get myself into a group of people who are similar to me and shout "BAAA". Whatever the "BAAA" is about it still sounds like "BAAA" to me.

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I was discussing with a friend who is part of the Stop the War Coalition how much I hate Tony Benn et-al the back-slapping glitterati elite of "the left". I just don't believe in the power of politics to change shit. The days of "vote for me" are over. Burn your fucking rosettes. A friend bought the Mail on Sunday yesterday (cos it came with a free Tubbular Bells CD- he says). This is a Tory womens paper. In it came their own "Green Issue" supplement which included articles about Bio-fuel sports cars, Daryl Hannah's eco-hippie lifestyle and the plight of Palestinian children captives in Israel. A revolution is happening. Who needs Politicians?