Whats the Use?

Don't ever try and film Muslims. Honestly. Meeting Abu Waleed and Mr Choudhary recently reminded me of the frustrating circular quandry I was in with Atilla for so many years. They believe TV is controlled by those with evil intentions. So what if I try and make something my way which involves TV? What if I try and make something which I think might be useful to the British public at large? Or do some straightforward journalism?

No really- they believe the stations are controlled by.. you get the idea.

Its not that they don't have previous experienece to go on. Seeing Mr Choudhary's group I am at a bit of a loss as to what I could concievably do with them. He makes himself available to TV, fairly predictable shows with predictable results. The nugget I need to make any headway into creating something different is the fundemental key to any documentary project- Access. Anyway, I'll keep trying. See what happens. I am quite into other stuff at the moment so I am in no hurry.

I went round to see Hajj a while back to enquire as to the welfare of Mr Hamza's sons now in custody. The news I had read online was news to him.

"If they have done this, they should pay the penalty." he said firmly.

In fairly vague terms he said he wasn't keen about what he heard from East London.

"Shouting about taking over England isn't any way to speak to the kaffirs. How will anyone learn about Islam if I first make them my enemy?" I think he said. Something along those lines anyway.

He always talks in quite glowing terms about the UK.

"The reason Islam is good in the UK is because we live amongst the best of the kaffirs." he told the young guys who were also round keeping him awake into the night. When a couple of them look at him questioningly, he lays down the law, repeating himself with finality and certainty. And thats it. And this guy stood on the other side of Hamza to Atilla. For the whole time I was in Finsbury. He is just TV gold.

I know by now that the main reason for these guys to speak to a kaffir is to try and bring him to Islam. One of the guys had another fairly good attempt with me.

"He understands it all. He knows all this is true." says Hajj.

I don't get this at all. We ended up talking about anal sex in more detail than I am used to. Why should I care if people have anal sex? Personally I would only do it to afemale if she asked me nicely. All these concepts around how people hold belief. Would that make a good film? God knows. If he or she exists they do anyway. Anyway I don't care. I just like people who I like for whatever reasons suits me and everyone else can fuck off.

Apart from that I've done a few disastrous gigs which have musically been OK. I didn't puke anyway. I have been learning how to put down slate floors which is ace. I love it. We taught ourselves plastering from a Youtube video with results we are happy with, saving oursleves hundreds of pounds. I was asked for some footage by someone in the National Front. This is my movie about them. I had to decline as I don't support the National Front though I don't doubt that any of the guys who I spoke to would make fascinating TV.

However you say things through the amplification of media would be distorted. I was talking to Mike the other day about how all the Muslims we have met want to be "Clones of the prophet". I can say that here, but if it gets any further this could sound like I was being seriously offensive to Muslims. What to do?

I was asked the other day to remove some comments from my youtube page which a Muslim in Canada found offensive. I quite like the way youtube comments are a serious lowest common denominator comment wise. I am pro freedom of speech and against censorship. I try to pretend I am above intelectual snobbery regarding those who comment in an err.. more expresive way than I do with less opportunities to get a grip on spelling than I had.

No. Really, its like running a fucking playground.

Here is a bit of sporadic conversation I had recently through my Youtube inbox

Youtuber: yo do u belive in all this shit and hatred people chat agenst the west ???????

Bones: Do I believe what?

Youtuber: all the shit them musilms about how they hate the west so much and all this crap of haterid and no pice

Bones: Do I believe "all the shit them musilms about how they hate the west so much and all this crap of haterid and no pice"? I don't believe or disbelieve anything. Does this answer your question?

I received no answer.

When I look at my webstats I often wonder what the fuck I am writing about myself. The most common searches which end up here are Antichrist cookbook, Squirtwoman, varitions on "Fucking paki", "Sand Nigger" etc. and a whole load of shit about lap dancing.

I've watched loads on the iPlayer. I am still addicted to Top Gear. I am really anti petrol head but I can't help it. I am addicted. I don't want to say how many times I watched these idiots jaunting across the States in muscle cars.

I am wondering if Charlie Brooker is going to save TV. His piece about advertising was excellent, as was his piece about TV writers about their craft. I just noticed his next target is documentaries.

Anything else? Oh yeah. I re read Stranger in a Strange land. A friend has a copy which boasted of being Heinlein's original manuscript discovered by his wife after his death, with a whole load of extra stuff which he had been asked to cut. This was before science fiction became the genre it is now. The publisher felt he should only take a chance on less words. Shaking the dust off their memories, everyone re read it and agreed it was better, so out it came.

What struck me straight away was in how much detail I remember this book as the last time I read it I was 14. As for the new words, they must have been "ifs" "ands" and "buts" because I couldn't find them. The next thing to occur to me was how much older I am reading it now. Last time I read this there was no internet, moblie phones, digital media etc which now date Heinleins referal to type writers, tape recording, libraries etc. He is still ahead with flying cars, one world government and 3D TV.

I am amazed by how much of the beliefs about life I have now were shaped by reading this book.