BLACK BLOGGING

OK. Went to Jo's "Another World is Blossoming" party at the Synergy centre. Had some very funny conversations under the influence of powders. Firstly with someone who was slagging Brian Haw as an eyesore who should be removed. I've heard Brian has 8 kids and so I think he should be looking after them, but he's a bit nuts. I am very used to such people from the life I have led. Idealists live in a non-ideal world, so they often decay under pressure. I saw that the decision of parliament to go to war had brought the nutters out in parliament square and Brian was the last one left after a couple of weeks, probably because he chased off the others. He's a sympton of this society.

"You should support the institution of Parliament because its given you the freedom you enjoy."said my friend.

"But they have taken away freedom to protest in Parliament Square" I answered then resorted to countering the argument with the obvious rather than any factual basis. "Look at me. How many protests do you think I've been on? Do you really think I support the institution of Parliament in its current form?"

I usually let this guy get away with his strongly pro-Blair, pro-Bush commentary because I find it amusing, but I constantly wonder why he spends his time amongst hippies. Because I was about half as forthright as he usually is he started saying something about our friendship.

"No mate. You are still my friend. I disagree with you. I am friends with Republicans. I consider these friendships the most important things I have experimented with as a reaction to this war. I disagree with them."

I moved on to a discussion with a girl who was praising Margaret Thatcher. What is it with hippies today?

"She believed in what she did and changed the country."

"So you are not offended by the undeclared civil war between North and South at the time?"

"Capitalism is a beautiful thing. At its basic level it is about encouraging individual enterprise."

"I would agree, but at a macro level its about exploitation and is intrisically linked to a war machine. Its about treating people as a commodity. I think more of the human spirit than that."

I didn't feel like arguing much further. "Look if you've got a view about how great Thatcher is and want to write it down, I'll stick it up on Socialist Wanker. I totally disagree, but it'll wind people up so you are welcome."

The guy came back, this time we were on the dancefloor watching a white rapper.

"I think this white people doing black music is very suspect."

"Really? What do you think of the Rolling Stones? they were hugely influenced by black music."

"I think they were White English rock."

"I don't think the Rolling Stones would agree with you, when they jammed with the Black musicians they were influenced by they did it as a tribute."

"So you don't think white English people can make their own music without Black influence?"

"I think if you are good I will take influence from you. Whether you are white or Black doesn't matter.

I met some nice people from Green TV. I asked them how they were uploading stuff and what sort of formats they used. One of them knew in passing about my attempts at film making.

"You should have a go Dave."

"I don't think my stuff fits. Its just straight Doco."

"But your stuff is a bit "activist" isn't it?"

"No. Its not. My subjects believe homosexuals should be killed."

"Ahh."

I met another girl who edited with Green TV who was very attractive but I seemed to put her off with every word I said past the initial smile we shared. Maybe drugs aren't good for me. Maybe I can no longer communicate with idealists and utopia heads (except Big G and Josef) because I am not one any more and my heart is black.

I also mt up with Rob Rub who told me his song called "George Bush is an Islamic Fundamentalist" is going to be in Julian Temples new movie about Glastonbury. I've been worrying about this movie sine I heard about it, hoping that its going to be good. The stuff about it seems favourable. I have so much emotion wrapped up in my experiences of the pre-Fiddler Glastonbury I really, really hope its going to be good. I also really, really hope it launches Rob Rub. he deserves it. he's a great guy.

The next day I went back to the same place where they were running a kids day. This is probably the most improtant thing I have ever seen the Synergy project try. A positive event for kids in an area known for gang violence. A guy had advised me not to come because of what I looked like. I agreed with him, but a girl involved had pursuaded me to come. "I want the kids to meet real people." When I arrived and got past the huge bouncers the guy was there but not the girl, with predictable results. I don't think I'm going to the centre anymore. I get a bad feeling every time I walk through the door.