BIG NOISE

Summers here and I have again developed the disturbing habit of watching mainly Japanese engined British made Choppers on ebay. I never liked Harleys even before all the idiot advertising people in Soho started buying them. I can't stand these overblown, overpriced glitzy American chops you see on those satellite TV programs either but there is something about a simple, stripped down British made hardtail which has had my blood pumping since I was a greasy haired 11 year old Motorhead fan.

There are a thousand reasons why I shouldn't buy one. I live in London, which people struggle to get round on trail bikes let alone feet forward nightmares with zero back suspension. I don't need a motorbike to get around London and if I wanted to go any further than the M25 it'd be much more sensible to buy a conventional road bike. My back is already a bit fucked and my shoulder. No suspension? Reach forward riding position? Great idea. Where would I park it? The summer will be over soon and would I want to ride one in winter?

All of these reasons are seriously challenged by my heart strings and the fact that I am a bit of an impulsive fucker and have wanted one of these my whole life . Somebody stop me.

Fairly modern GSX600 engine, went for a grand and a half. I even like the red frame though I would want a sprung saddle.

Slightly less painful riding position. Seriously pretty XVS650 went on ebay for two grand

An unfinnished XS650 project sold for a grand.

A crazy looking one off project based around a Suzuki 750 engine this has got a hand made tank, welded chain built into the front of the frame and the wheels are fifteen inches across. Sold for six hundred quid. I am not sure I could get it on the road though- or round bloody corners when it was there come to think of it!

Reliability issues and the fact that I am not a good mechanic would probably put me off buying an old British engined chop, but they do sound bloody sexy and if you can keep them going they always hold their price.


My favourite, with a Z750 engine, the same owner for the last 11 years, taxed and tested- didn't sell, and I kept the guys number. No indicators, no mirrors, arms in the air so no chance of looking over your shoulder and I'd have to ride it back from the Scottish border. Maybe my mum dropped me on my head when I was a baby. Its strange because my parents were actually really sensible people, both of them. I think I need to be tied up. Help!

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