June 19, 2009


Well I am not quite sure how but they did it. The degree show I love to hate, Goldsmiths Fine Art Degree show was somehow even worse than last year plumbing new depths of artistic bullshit. When I started saying so on the balcony err.. a bit loudly everyone around me looked at me like someone had finally vocalised what they were all thinking. What a complete load of toss. As usual there were two good things, in one room I actually found some good Oil painting which turned out to be the work of a very pretty Korean called Hyun Soo Oh.

"I bet they don't like you here." I said to her.
"The tutors don't like my work at all."
"You went to the wrong college didn't you."
She agreed.
"Before you go make sure you dig one of those stilletos you are wearing into their faces."
"I might get arrested."
"It'll be OK. they will think it is art."

Here I am practsing my "It speaks to me of the true horror of 9/11" posse

How many arse holes? And how many times have I seen blown up close ups of arseholes in fine art shows?

I mean why go to college for three yars to learn how to stack up chairs and then not even fucking stack them properly? What a load of wank.

TV is shit these days

I can see the planes hitting the buildings



Indigobusiness said...


my goldsmiths shit said...

dude like if they let me like show my work then maybe you'd like like it? they put it all in a room on the day and so now people don't invest time to figure out the truth (i understand this i do this too) and so the aesthetics of the piece were total bullshit and no one understood why. they fucked up my degree show. fucking goldsmiths. at least my teacher was hot.but i guess he's fucked up my heart too.

vicky (shit tv)

DAVE BONES said...

Right. I think I heard about you..

Anonymous said...

so im guessing you only bothered to look around the squiggly building, and not invest your time anywhere else in the school, not that your opinion would matter, its about as superficial as your hat/suit combo. judging by the fact that you think the best work in there was those shit paintings, you prrobably didnt take a closer look at how badly all the eyes were painted. but i think you would only really care to take a close look at your own japseye just before you ejaculate in your own mouthhhhhhhhhhhhha!

Anonymous said...

Aw come on Dave!

The show wasnt as gay and douchy as i thought it would be, though the whimsy-eerie lame stuff was sort of to be expected. i thought the pieces where you had to wear headphones were whack, and there was this 'stop everything and examine me and my thoughts,' demanding minutes of time ego thing which was a bit presumptuous too. what is five floors of shit is ballaches dismissing in the blink of an eye pieces that students have worked on for three years (and for some, a lot longer than that), without any real reasons or anything constructive to add. thoughtless headbashing.

i get that its kind of empowering (for three minutes) in daveworld to waltz through an art gallery shitting on everything, tutting, and concluding in your head what they shouldve done instead. but thats all.

five floors of shit yet again. you suck dave!

Anonymous said...

i did go a bit daily mail when i saw the stacked chairs, and when i went to put a bottle in the bin, i checked the bin, genuinely to see if it was art or just a regular bin.

Anonymous said...

i would <3 to see more blown up pictures of arseholes.

Indigobusiness said...

Lots of courageous anonymity on display, methinks.

DAVE BONES said...

No really- it was all bollocks as usual. And I don't think it took three years to stack those chairs. It might have done I suppose. Seriously though- it was utter, utter pretentious crap as usual. Chelsea was much, much better.

DAVE BONES said...

If you want to slag off my art it is here. Help yourself.

Anonymous said...

CHELsea was SHIT! and you know you only saw a 3rd of the fine art show. your stupid

Indigobusiness said...

Yeah, 'your stupid'.