March 31, 2006


OK. No Ganj, dreams come back. I had two the same over two days in that half awake time in the morning. I was couriering on a bicycle, but not in London. In one dream it was outside Poole bus station down where I come from. The other one I'm not sure. Anyway I was delivering a puppy somewhere and I lost it. I was looking round for it panicking and then i woke up. The second day I had this dream, rather than feeling strange all day I deliberately closed my eyes and visualised walking round the corner and finding the dog and then cycling off happy. It completely changed my perspective.

I had a discussion last night with a Spanish girl who was saying things like acupuncture are all in the mind. If you believe in them they work. I tried to give her my "I don't believe in belief. It'll either work or it won't." line but I don't think she really understood. She doesn't get English that well and talks like Speedy Gonzalez. Maybe I ought to start believing good shit for myself just in case.

March 30, 2006


Courtesy of Anna again... PART 5 of SOUTHPARK!!!!! The saddest episode ever. The Southpark guys reaction to loosing Chef to Scientology...


via The Scrutinator

Noam Chomsky: One of the premiere anti-capitalists and anti-militarists in academia today, Chomsky, a self-described "anarchist-socialist," has been paid millions by the Pentagon—which he once called "the most hideous institution on this earth"—over the last 40 years, as well as various corporations, which he has described as "just as totalitarian as Bolshevism and fascism." When asked by Schweizer about his seeming contradiction, Chomsky responded (via email), "I think we should be responsible for what we do, not for the bureaucratic queston of who stamps the paycheck." Chomsky then went on to rationalize his wealth achieved via Pentagon contacts by stating that anyone who uses the Internet, which was created the U.S. military, is guilty of working for the Pentagon. Though he has lectured that other university professors should ween themselves of Pentagon funding in the form of grants and scholarships, he has yet to do so himself.

Chomsky's public condemnations of capitalism, which he calls a "grotesque catastrophe," are similarly contradicted by his private lifestyle. Mr. Chomsky lives in an $850,000 house and has a $1.2 million vacation home, both in Massachusetts. A critic of the "massive use of tax havens to shift the burden to the general population and away from the rich," he has called tax rebates "equivalent to a welfare payment," yet has set up trusts in his children's and tax attorney's names in order to avoid future payment of inheritance taxes. His loathing of copyrights and patents has also not stopped him from copyrighting his lectures, speeches and articles over the years (which can be downloaded—for a fee—off the Internet). After speaking at a benefit sponsored by the Greater Philadelphia Democratic Left where Chomsky stated, "A democracy requires a free, independent and inquiring media," a reporter named Deborah Bolling was told that she would have to pay $35 to interview him. Perhaps most damning is his impressive stock portfolio, which includes shares in oil companies, military contractors and pharmaceuticals.


You are fucking barking mate!

cheers to Simon for directing me to the Big Blog company for this one...

Barking moonbat

noun. Someone on the extreme edge of whatever their -ism happens to be.

(coined by Perry de Havilland)

Usage:"Definition of a 'barking moonbat': someone who sacrifices sanity for the sake of consistency"
-Adriana Cronin

Although the term (often rendered simply as 'Moonbat') is very popular with conservative and libertarian bloggers who appropriately use it to describe the Chomskyite Left, it was always intended as a much more ecumenical epithet and has been correctly used to describe certain paleo-conservative and paleo-libertarians views. (also see 'idiotarian').

Note: Contrary to some speculation and entries on Wikipedia, Perry de Havilland has stated it was was not originally a play on the last name of George Monbiot, a columnist for The Guardian, as he was using the term long before he met or had even heard of Mr. Monbiot.

March 29, 2006

Check our ad on Gumtree.

Competent jamming drummer wanted for loud growling psychedelic grungy experi-punk with a hint of funk. We have rehersal space + kit. Bring your sticks and your bong.

I might have to have a day off from my anti-ganj sainthood for the auditions. day 21 by the way... beyond this is fairly much uncharted territory.

Wednesday’s total Solar Eclipse opens the gate to crisis, decision, and opportunity.
This is an Aries New Moon, and we are challenged now to participate in the better world which is sprouting out of the darkness. We are empowered now to begin brand new creative projects.

For details, see daykeeperjournal

... this is not a new path for the United States. However, the tempo has stepped up in a multitude of ways, and its impact increases at a constantly accelerating rate. The current Administration, with its ruthless and blatant expression, makes obvious this destructive path.

As more and more people wake up, the nation is coming to a new awareness of the strengths and weaknesses of the United States. The current Administration does us the favor of making very obvious some of what is not working. This is necessary before we can create positive change.

(via Fraser)

Bloody hippies.

Boudicia is not only a stylish blogger, she has a great pair too.

More Venezuela

Chomsky indicated that the majority of U.S. citizens receive little or no information on the gains of the Bolivarian Revolution, led by the Venezuelan Hugo Chavez Frías, "because the media only emphasise the bad and ignore the positive."

...also said that the United States, in accordance with the foreign policy of President Bush, "thinks it has the privilege to declare any person or country a terrorist."

And under that precept the US armed forces "should bomb Washington, because when the US government protects Luis Posada Carrile and rejects the extradition application from Venezuela for him they protect one of the most renowned terrorists in the continent."
This guy was one of the people I didn't heckle on the Peace march.

Jill the liberal hater from Southpark over in Sparkleland linked to this very interesting article about Sweden. Sweden? Thats Omegaprojektetlånd. Bill X?


Loan rangers

Tonight we get a whiff of what passes for the supposed 'new
transparency' in British politics as the Electoral Commission blows the whistle on
Labour and Tory parties alike. They've asked the parties a bunch of
questions about the millions of pounds they've had in the form of loans,
and whether the terms of those secret loans should be made no longer
secret to see whether they fell foul of the rules.

But the Commission is severely unimpressed by the response of the
parties who have failed to answer the questions, and have instead merely
stated that everything about the loans is above board.

Indeed, so wound up is the Commission by the parties that, in effect,
it's tonight saying that without being given proper detailed answers
it's simply not inclined to believe the parties, and is now threatening to
force the parties under law to cough up the information it wants.

Another aspect of the 'new transparency' is that neither of the parties
will agree to be interviewed tonight.

And all of this is aside from the allegations and suspicions that both
parties have been selling honours. Police are also investigating
whether government contracts had some relationship to honours and loans.
Different stench, same part of the forest.

should bring back McCarthy for this one no?

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Just watched Clooneys "Good night and Good Luck". Fantastic. Watch it.

It starts with Edward R Murrows speech at the RTNDA Convention in Chicago, October 15, 1958.

We are currently wealthy, fat, comfortable and complacent. We have currently a built-in allergy to unpleasant or disturbing information. Our mass media reflect this. But unless we get up off our fat surpluses and recognize that television in the main is being used to distract, delude, amuse and insulate us, then television and those who finance it, those who look at it and those who work at it, may see a totally different picture too late.

Fantastic. Read it.

March 28, 2006

An Unusual Jew

As an Israeli Jew who sees how the Occupation has eroded the moral foundations of my society and, indeed, my entire people, and as a resident of Israel-Palestine who knows that my fate is intricately intertwined with that of the Palestinians, I pray that such an end will come sooner rather than later. As a member of civil society, I realize that the Palestinians have only one staunch ally: us, the people. Governments will not pursue peace and justice without our prodding. If the Palestinians remain steadfast and resist, it is our duty to actively support their fight for freedom and justice. Otherwise – to hell with us.

via Not the Country Club

I don't know what I think about the Palestine/Israel situation. I can see that if I was a Palestinian with land and a history on that land going back generations, I would probably resent people arriving from Russia and such places to take over that land with the backing of arms and money from US tax payers. If that situation went on and all attempts at solutions went against me, that would radicalize me. Especially if I was kept inside refugee camps with no hope of a future. But what to do?

As a gesture, bombing buses works against Palestinians in western minds, no doubt about it. But I can see that it probably works for "the cause" in the minds of Muslims in the Middle East who are themselves under the heel of oppressive forces they don't like. A central issue for this "West vs Islam" to spin round and round and round...

When I meet Israeli people I empathise with their european-ness. Their culture is similar to mine. I would not think to argue whether "the homeland" is theirs, or which part of it is. I don't know. I'm trying to think of estabished patterns of behaviour throughout history relating to "terrorism" "freedom-fighting" and armed insurgencies which can be looked at empirically across the board, whether it is ETA, the IRA, the PLO, Hagana,the AWB or whatever.

One thing. All this fighting over homeland I can't relate to. I think I am a vagrant.


Bloody hard to play the guitar without a smoke. Its like "What are these wires under my fingers?" The acupuncturist has put seeds in my ear to press on.

I just watched Munich. Good film. The end was a bit annoying. Artistic licence meant we got to see the leader of the assasins boning his missus interspersed with the "images he couldn't get out of his head" of the Israeli atheletes being killed. I don't know what the Republican take is on this film. It fairly much humanises everyone involved in the story. The artistic licence annoyed me in the same way some are annoyed about how reporters "translate" the story of war for the viewer.

Its dramatised by people who don't know what its like to do these things to "feed" to people who don't know what its like to do these things. Every time he's thinking about "the horror" on his way to climaxing with his misses she closes his eyes. Great image. Sex and death. The love of a good woman closing your eyes to the horror. Wonderful screenwriting, and an annoying load of bollocks at the same time if you catch my drift.

Screenwriters are profesionally annoying anyway no? Artistic licence. I know that if I was Alan Moore and some pissy director did to my story what it sounds like they have done to V for Vendetta I'd be tempted to turn terrorist and hunt them down. Know what I mean? If you're going to make V for Vendetta, make fucking V for Vendetta. Why would any Hollywood twat think they could rewrite it to be as good as the original?
It seemed to me the two more absolute extremes were anarchy and fascism. This was one of the things I objected to in the recent film, where it seems to be, from the script that I read, sort of recasting it as current American neo-conservatism vs. current American liberalism. There wasn't a mention of anarchy as far as I could see. The fascism had been completely defanged. I mean, I think that any references to racial purity had been excised, whereas actually, fascists are quite big on racial purity.
This is to introduce Rose (who is a BABE)'s new blog,

Rose also promotes art events around the theme of "Human Awareness" but I've lost the link to the site...

cheers Jo- Neo Dogma Non or in English NO NEW DOGMA

No Right to Fair Trial

War is war, and it has never been the case that when you captured a combatant you have to give them a jury trial in your civil courts,” he says on a tape of the talk reviewed by NEWSWEEK. “Give me a break.” Challenged by one audience member about whether the Gitmo detainees don’t have protections under the Geneva or human-rights conventions, Scalia shot back: “If he was captured by my army on a battlefield, that is where he belongs. I had a son on that battlefield and they were shooting at my son and I’m not about to give this man who was captured in a war a full jury trial. I mean it’s crazy.” Scalia was apparently referring to his son Matthew, who served with the U.S. Army in Iraq.

March 27, 2006

This is a Channel 4 news report questioning whether Hugo Chavez is getting distubingly authoritarian. This is a story of someone in Cuba on hunger strike over access to the internet (via Rightwingsparkle)


Fucking immigrants 1.
Fucking immigrants 2.
Fucking immigrants 3.

Immigration seems to be an issue now in the states as well as over here in the UK. I always used to argue that British people of the "they come over 'ere, steal our wimin" variety should be deported somewhere hot where things are more relaxed for a compulsory two year stretch. I thought it would be of benefit to them. They may not like it at first but they'd thank you later maybe. As far as I am concerned immigration is the history of humanity since year dot.

I found this.

Americans of hispanic descent are also sick of having their names drug through the mud by lawbreakers who, like barnacles, attempt to attach themselves in the eyes of society to these good people. Josue Sierra at Latino Issues blog expressed those concerns when he wrote the other day, “I am a son of immigrants. My parents are Cuban. But I am an American, born in the United States, and sworn loyal to my country. It is days like these that make life harder for people like me.”

Here is the take on the subject in Sparkleland.
This is a view from an influential Hispanic.
What do you reckon?


OK, introducing a few new thought churners I've come across and linked to.

Firstly rap, Funkmonks is the best rap blog I've come across. God (or whichever deity you prefer) bless NEXT BLOG> The mixes are a bit complicated to download but they are there and they are great.

I've somehow ended up on Samantha Burns links. (Thanks) I think I found her through TTLB a while back. Not sure. Anyway she's a playful primate, a concept I am all for, and she featured a little in my contributions to Sparkles hilarious debate about sexy Republicans as she was the only one I could find.

Mark Sprengel has an interesting rightwing blog which I also came across through Sparkleland. He didn't feature in my contribution to the hilarious debate about sexy Republicans but is another interesting insight into the US Republican mindset for me to ponder.

Lastly Child Without an Eye is one of those random, spontaneous things I would call "pure blogs". Thoughts pictures and poems projected into the randomness courtesy of blogger. Happy blogging everyone.
Boing Boing "lost" Monty Python interview

March 26, 2006

this is Pete Ardrons ambient band. Really inspired hazzy swirly stuff with electric violin.

Republicans are Sexy. No. Really

Here is the article Rightwingsparkle linked to, here is the debate we had about the concept of "sexy" Republicans including the conjouring of such steamy erotic images as "Bush on a Bicycle"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Look at those stumpy little legs! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

You will never have to ride in his enviro-friendly weenie mobile. Republicans have balls, they all drive gas guzzlers with massive engines...

...liberal men have really turned into whiny, emotional, hysterical women...

...There's nothing masculine about being a liberal anymore. And to most women, that is a huge turn off...

...The biggest drawback for liberal men is that they've become so emasculated and effeminite that a woman just can't feel safe with or respect them. There's just nothing manly about a guy who talks about his feelings all the time... petty liberals are when splitting the tab. No exaggeration there. Writer forgot to mention that liberals don't bother to open the door for women... a liberal is like hell. Hypocrite guys are such a turn-off. aside from their homo-obsessions and how slutty they are...

...Have you ever seen Bush on his mountain bike? Pretty sexy...

Birmingham, UK '89-91

More Music. Why not?

I remember the late eighties as a great time for live music and beautiful rock chicks jumping on me. Birmingham was fantastic for both. Great venues. Great pubs where, pre-exstacy, drug dealers stood in the gangway between bars. Rastas put on "blues" parties in their gardens. If you wanted hash you didn't have to move. You passed your money one way, the dealer by the speaker passed the ganja towards you.

A friend of mine and I took our girfriends to see Killing Joke not really knowing who they were, the ghostly drive of "Love Like Blood" made us curious. We stood on the balcony totally blown away by the sheer driving force of musicality. Later Youth, the bass player from the band became one of the pioneers of Goa Trance in India.

Another band I remember well from the time was Soundgarden. One of the stars of Spinal Tapp introduced them live on stage. Chris Cornell was like a new Robert Plant. I did a lot of crowd surfing and almost bit my tongue off being dropped on my head. I was also lucky enough to see Nirvana twice. Once on the Bleach tour before they were famous with L7 suppoting them infront of 400 sweaty Brummies and once after "Smells Like Teen Spirit" became an anthem. They were crap both times, but Nirvana were always deliberately crap live, parodying the "rockstar" image and concept.

At the time British bands used to sell a contrived, tepid image to a music journalist and then pretend to live it. US bands mastered their instruments and lived the life full on. The best of these were the Chilli Peppers. They might be a bit old now, they were memorably superhuman back then, especially Flea who played bass like a motherfucker, arms and legs flailing everywhere. Great energy. Great times. I enjoyed toking in those days. We used to laugh all the time giving each other rising blowbacks, upsidedown blowbacks, hot knives, the only drug problems I had was getting good ones at the right prices.

In the mid nineties I put down my guitar and got seriously into Psychedelic trance music. The concept of facing the front watching bands seemed passe. Under lasers and smoke and with all the drugs everyone on the dancefloor was a rockstar, living the rockstar lifestyle. But London was different. There has always been an impersonal vibe which I've struggled with in social situations. People seem to be more of a commodity to be consumed. Now if I go to a commercial trance party everyone is facing the front like a rock gig, but there is still a good energy at the odd trance squat party. I'm beginning to wonder if I am going to come out of this ganja haze with a new energy to put into live music. I hope so.

March 25, 2006

Cardiacs Marquee London

This is a great review from someone who didn't get it.

Sputnik’s star is rising over these morons.

The Cardiacs are an egotistical talent-less bunch of jerks with nothing but gimmicks to recommend them if that. Last week I saw them at London’s Marquee club. The hot spot at the bowels of emerging trivia if the latest offering is anything to go by. The fawning music press, always susceptical to any half-wit moron that comes along, has described the group as the ultimate entertainers. If you are in a mental institution they might be. The lead singer acted as if he was retarded in a way which was quite sick.

The audience were reduced to a mindless bouncing sweaty mass by the manipulative unpleasant antics of lead singer Timmy Smith. He dribbles, not only musically, but literally, condescended and patronised inciting the audience to emulate him.

Formless and tuneless, punk played backwards, describes the music. It was an interminable hour of totally unmemorable dirge - and then they came back and did it all over again in the encore. The only piece distinguishable from the rest was a weird chant at the end, obviously the band’s anthem, which sounded like two lines from a poem repeated several times.

All That Glitters Is A Mares Nest

Whilst rediscovering my musicality I've rediscovered the Cardiacs.
THE CARDIACS are rightly famous for being the founders of a musical genre of their own: pronk (a mixture of prog and punk).

halfway down this page is a streaming mp3.

"Sounds like Satan worship." said a friend of mine just now in pasing.

I was introduced to the Cardiacs at art college but I didn't get into them till I saw the live show. A friends band was lucky enough to support them twice, with another sadly missed band called Levitation. Fantastic gigs.

Before the days of advanced laptop technology, the pre-recorded backing tracks were played off of a huge rack of samplers. The Cardiacs originally had a brass section it became too expensive to tour with. They had a cult following and strange live interaction, crazy poetry, more crazy poetry and lyrics. What do you know? They are still at it. Crazy stuff. Here are some more people recounting their discovery of the Cardiacs.

If you have never seen or heard them, then a gig by Cardiacs almost defies description. It is an event that always leaves the audience moved in some way.
Attempts to describe the music or the goings-on can maybe put the reader off. Many of the now die-hard fans experienced extreme irritation on their first exposure to such uniqueness.
My advice is - Cardiacs go much deeper than they first seem to, listen to the music more than twice and you will understand. They will almost certainly become an indispensable part of your life, and this is because Cardiacs go deeper into people’s hearts than anyone else has done for the past Christ-knows how many years.

This is a big thing to claim for anybody, so why am I so sure - and many others too - that this is so?
What is it about them that lifts them out of the musical rut that seems to be the lot of our times?
It’s because the music is as composed and as tight as a symphonic score and yet played with the freedom, power and energy of The Sex Pistols. It’s because they create not just a new musical style but a
new musical language.

Continuing on a musical vibe here is a great rap blog
Seems my suggestion wasn't nearly depraved enough

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

and four

cheers to Anna Chen for emailing me about this. If anyone can find part 5 let me know. I'm on the egde of my seat.

Progress and Chord progressions

I woke up dis' monin...

yeah anyway, couldn't meditate. Fidgetting, angry, unsedated by dope. Should I switch the TV on? Yes..No..Yes..No...Another addiction to decide whether to give into or not.


Gave into it, there was a program just started about some rap kid trying to give up smoking dope. Is that serendipity or what? Just what I needed especially as he went through the worry about whether he could still rap without "blazing a tree" (kid is a shite rapper anyway but- you know, kids stuff...) 900 gigs, not one without a spliff.

UK TV Channel 4 in the morning almost every programs for kids is about drugs.

Anyway this is addressing my BIGGEST problem regarding giving up weed. For the last 15 years its always been smoke a bong, let it out through the guitar or onto canvas. The idea of trying without has always been against my religion. The downside is never getting anything finnished, and also prolonged periods of depressed inactivity and staring into space.

This TV show gave me the perfect gentle encouragement to give it a go and I had arranged a jam with a friend of mine who has just sorted himself a fantastic studio nearby. His brother was also about who is very dedicated to the band he is in and kindly let me have a go playing through one of these. Jesus it felt good. Messa Boogie Dual Rectum what? Its like that US grunt saying "tear me a new asshole" isn't it?

Anyway I was totally dual rectumed away. Had two buttholes by the time I finnished. Beautiful. And I had a go on his Fender Jaguar, though to be honest as long as its got humbuckers and an OK action I am happy with most guitars. My main guitar is the same one I got out of a friends mums catalogue when I was 16. 21 years and I'm still happy with it. When I've got the money at the right time I'm going to get one of these I think. I'm not in a hurry.
At home this evening we set about serious jamming towards songwriting. My friend had to leave cos he was mashed, I'm still fresh as a daisy. Great day. Drug free.

I haven't played through my amp in ages and wondered how it would sound after a grands worth of Dual rectumfying. This amp is 30 watts and cost me 30 quid, off the dad of the same friend. It still sounds the bollocks, its just not loud enough for gigging. I've bought and sold Marshalls, Laneys, everything over the years. I think I'm going to try and build the amp and a power amp into a new cabinet.

Jesus. I wrote this blog almost word for word in January. Am I repeating myself? No wonder Mr. Du Monde is getting bored... Ah well you can read or not-up to you, as I said live on TV the other day. ha ha ha ha I'm a Rockstar innit?

March 23, 2006


I've been looking forward to this for a while.

I remember watching Broomfields The Leader, his Driver and the Drivers Wife when it was first on TV. It is still my favourite documentary of all time.

If you are quick, here is a webchat with Nick Broomfield. I met him briefly at a documentary festival at the ICA and told him I was filming with Hamza and co in Finsbury park. He wished me luck. I had no idea Hamza would be arrested at that point. I've since regretted not trying to get closer to Hamza himself as that would have been a great film.

He shares with Terre'Blanche that "unburstable ego" quality though I cannot guess if he is actually a bad man or not whereas Terrablance is blatantly a bad man and quite a few black people have the scars to prove it. As I've said before the closer to Hamza I got, the more disturbingly mellow people became but then Terrablanche's driver seems like a genuinely nice guy too.

His Great White Self was another masterpiece, cutting up news footage of Terre'Blanche and co's journey through history with wider stuff about the history of South Africa, a retrospective of "The Leader" and footage from his recent visit. Broomfield dresses up as an English eccentric to make sure Terre'Blanche doesn't recognise him. He catches him preaching at his local church, painting himself as a martyr. "The drivers wife" seems to have changed the most, and the film ends with uplifting footage of her stitching up a young black kids foot at the hospital where she works. The little kids smile ends a long story which he may read about one day.

Broomfields films, everything he spoke about at the ICA and everything he says on the webchat is guru like inspiration. Its maybe a shame that I've given up, but I just don't feel like a film-maker anymore. I'm not sure I ever was as I've never finished anything except the edits online here. here are some great quotes from the webchat:

Andrew/Kent: Hi, How difficult is it to make a documentary when the main character seems so opposed to the project?
Nick Broomfield: It's difficult but I think the difficulties make it more interesting. As a film-maker you have to find a way of telling your story and making those difficulties part of the story that will enrich it.

...Making a film is like a voyage of discovery to finding the truth that you believe in...

Kelly: do you think that documentary has the power to create social change? or has become much more entertainment based in our culture today?
Nick Broomfield: I don't think the two things are mutually exclusive. I think documentaries can promote change through understanding. I think films like Supersize Me probably encouraged people to think more carefully about their diet and I think Jamie Oliver's series on schools dinners really had a big influence in changing what school kids ate. I think it's important that films are enteratining as well...

g-man: how do you maintain a distance between you and your subjects? How are you able to maintain a dialogue with people who hold fundamentally repulsive ideas?
Nick Broomfield: I think that human nature is very complicated. Very few people are all bad. The important thing is to understand why they hold the views they hold and, as a film-maker, not to judge them too quickly. Change is all abuot education and I think that comes through understanding...

Nick Broomfield: I think it's important to do films that you believe in because you are working on them for a long time so they are a passionate undertaking. When you get to know people past a certain point things are very emotionally charged

Terre'Blanche's party, the AWB are still alive and well.

March 22, 2006


'Dirty bomb' terror plot

Undoubtedly the top story of the night is the alleged attempt by a
member of a British Muslim terror cell to try to buy a nuclear bomb from
the Russian mafia.

This of course fulfils just about every bad dream any security official
in an western state has ever managed to have. And of course the trial
at the Old Bailey still has to prove that it's true.

But they're alleging that one of seven defendants attempted to secure
nuclear isotopes to make a "dirty bomb". What's more, the prosecution
also set out evidence that the defendants had discussed targeting
night-clubs, and that one defendant had praised the Madrid bombing. The
defendants, of course, deny the charges and we've yet to hear from the

It is a massive case and one of the biggest in Britain since 9/11.
Lindsay Taylor is on it at 7.

Fuck Lindsay Taylor, I might take a wander down myself. Don't want to get sucked into another court case. Those benches are very uncomfortable.

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OK I think Sparkles had a touch too much sun at the beach. She's claiming Clinton had a resident punk band who trashed the Oval office when they left. Check it out!!!


OK. Didn't sleep much last night. Went a bit mad. Don't feel a lot better. I got talking to a great Cuban on a bric-a-brac stall in Depford market selling everything from cups and glasses to kids shoes and computers. It turned out the guy, who is called Elio is also a keen ameteur film maker.

He showed me a really good edit of a pop video he had made from his phone. We got talking about film-making which led to me jumping behind his stall to watch a documentary about Cuba on a G4 laptop he had set up. Amazing film, great to watch it in such strange and lively surroundings with a Cuban. Great guy. The street is an amazing place in moments like these when the sun starts coming out.


OK. I didn't want to get worked up over this 9/11 bollocks but, you know by now, if I need to know anything about anything I always ask the Republicans and if I don't get an answer I worry... know.. well I was watching that Loose change 9/11 thing and it shows a clip from the video where Mr. Bin admits to 9/11 and come to think of it he does have an awfully big nose, and.. how come he's right handed in it? He's supposed to be left handed no? And what about the ring? Thats against Islamic law no? I'm just asking... Is this the video we are supposed to be relying on for the 9/11 confession? I don't know. Is it?

I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation...

UPDATE: Cheers to Geoff over on Sparkles blog who dampened my fireworks a bit with this explanation of Mr. Bin's appearance and this look into the ring thing. hmmm... I was enjoying that. I was a bit manic last night due to thirteen days and no dope. Doing well aren't I?
This is good for your ears. Sepulctura live here.
This was a FUCKING STUPID action in my opinion. There just weren't enough people involved to make it anything but fucking dangerous. That's all said with the benefit of hindsight. It makes for a fascinating film knowing that those on the end of the rope were very lucky not to be killed. The face of the guy who cut it when he realised what he's done is a picture too. The Police were aquitted. No comment. Tell me what you think.
Ex-Millenial Girl has a new post up. Check it out. This girl fucking lays it down every time. Her blog is a fucking jewel.

March 21, 2006

this is a fantastic piece from More4News

Karzan Sherabayani's story is a stark reminder of that brutal regime. At 14, he was tortured because he was falsely accused of belonging to a Kurdish underground movement.

After 25 years in exile, Karzan has returned to his homeland and confronts the man who betrayed him to Saddam's regime.
Had some acupuncture yesterday. Felt a bit stupid moaning about my aches and pains and mental state. He did my third eye, the webbed bit between my thumbs and first fingers and one each on the front of my feet. Might work.

Day thirteen is pretty shit by the way.


Sat April 1st 2006


Live art event for April Fools Day

inc performances, films, soundwork, installation, photography and sets, film showreel, music, performance, special guests

Daytime events: Beginning from 1pm -5pm FREE!
inc performances, films, soundwork, installation, photography and more.

Evening events: Beginning from 7pm - 11pm £5/3 conc
live sets, film showreel, music, performance, special guests

"The Fleapit"
49 Columbia Road (Off Hackney Road)
E2 7RG

March 20, 2006

I love Sundays.

Woke up sunday morning aware of some anti-corporate geek conference which was to be held at Speakers corner. Went next door to see if my neighbour who owns one of these felt like filming. She was ready to go in 20 minutes. How cool is that? Big up Spanish punk chicks, and Spanish chicks in general.

Anyway, got there just as it started, filmed anti-corporate geeks having a rant. (Pictures coming) Interesting stuff I agree with but they weren't very good. Once the regular hecklers found them things got a bit more interesting. I love filming in Speakers corner. The regular hecklers (who seem to be mostly Irish) are the stars of the show. Speakers corner is a great place to practice everything about filming, microphone techniques and editting. We're going back soon to make more of this type of stuff with as many camera as we can get our hands on.

UPDATE: Here is one of the "copyfighters" sites. This is memetherapy who is going to put up a podcast. Apparently where normal people fight for "rights" geeks fight for "digital rights".

We went across the way to film a procession of Shia's who were hitting themselves. They were carrying models of mosques and paper mache bloody heads on poles. A really nice university lecturer from the States explained everything. Maybe I'll try and knock it together with his voice over. In the middle of marble Arch we blagged some really nice dinner off the organisers.

Over to the Square to find old friends from the creative forum. The smallest one yet, but still fantastic. These people are good eggs. Don't know if we are going to achieve anything but its always great to get together. Saw a rushed edit of Jo's venezuela stuff, followed by a slide show about the very professionally put together Art Not Oil which is getting great publicity in the mainstream press. Also met a great guy who was running a car on SVO who was up for filming.

After this someone who I think was from 911truthbritsol showed one of those 9/11 conspiracy films. Before he showed it he asked who thought Al-Qaeda did 9/11, who thought the US military let it happen and who thought it was an inside job. I put my hand up for all three. I've watched a few of these. 9/11 in Plane site, Confronting the Evidence etc. boring badly made films. The guys who believe this come across like new agers. Loose Change (online here) was much more watchable.

I neither believe or disbelieve 9/11 conspiracies. Either Al-Quaeda did it or it was an inside job. I wasn't there. Some "pwotestors" are annoyed at the religious fervour or 9/11 conspiracy theorists. I'm not. I'll listen to anyone. I actually prefer people who are slightly cracked to be honest. I bought a copy for my Muslim buddies.

Do check it out- paticularly if you are Replublican. I'd value your feedback. Seriously, this one is worth sitting through.

One thing- if the clip they show of Bin laden admitting 9/11 is Osama Bin laden then I am Abu Hamza. All the stuff about the twin towers being the only steel structures to ever collapse from fire, the tiny hole and wrong jet engine found in the Pentagon, the missing wreckage from Pittsburg (?), don't know why it doesn't move me, but a face is a face. That isn't Bin Laden and he's not right handed. This is one of those clips which makes you think

"Not only are they fucking us, they WANT US TO KNOW that they are fucking us."

Fascinating stuff.

Regular readers will know that I never usually talk about "they" as I'm not really into the concept of "them". Maybe this film has had more influence than I realise. Watch it. Tell me what you think.
watch the More4News piece about tunnels in Gaza.


OK. Playing catch up a bit. Firstly to mention a party in a squatted special school complete with padded room all the way over there in South East London. The venue quite suited the clientelle. Anyway this was all in aid of the Basra Oil Union which if you click over you will find a blog updated by Eva who is this Eva.

WE FIGHT for the public ownership of industries according to the law passed in the 1970s. Until now the oil industry has worked as one national industry and Iraqis had a common knowledge of the country's rich natural resources. Iraqis are aware of that and also of the aims of US imperialism worldwide.

We feel that privatisation is damaging to the Iraqi economy, that it means private companies controlling public resources and wealth for their profit while the Iraqi people see very little of it. Many countries around the world have carried out privatisation but brought no material or social benefit for the ordinary citizen.

OK, on to pwotest Saturday

Got there by bicycle, already slightly frazzled and in the mood for a wind up.

Saw Galloway surounded by clicking cameras.

"A cheating politician? Who'd have thought it?" I shouted but didn't wait for the answer.

Met a fellow Peace Not War who was in the TV studio the other day. The first thing the organisers did was send everyone in a pointless U-turn past Parliament 50 yards out of the square and then fifty yards back in.

"Baa! Baa!" we both shouted gleefully.

"Boring speeches this way!" I instructed.

Someone handed me a leaflet.

"Whats it about?"

"Random Anarchists. Its against protests."

"I'm in favour of that! Lets organise a protest about it!'

Slogans slogans fucking slogans. All this "George Bush TERRORIST! Tony Blair TERRORIST" Blah! blah! FUCKING BLAH!

"There's Tony Benn!" my mate pointed out.

"Where? Is he slapping someones back and calling him "comrade?""

I started shouting "George Bush IS MISUNDERSTOOD! Tony Blair IS A NICE GUY! What do we want? To go round in circles! When do we want it? All the time!"

One old duffer took the bait.

"Are you supporting this demonstration? Are you in favour of this?"

"I'm here aren't I?"

"Well you might be going round in circles. I'm not."

"Yeah. Thats cos you've got gloves on mate. My hands are freezing. WHAT DO WE WANT? I DON'T KNOW!!! When do we want it? Err... In your own time?"

Most people around me were laughing which annoyed me even more.

We jumped the barrier to cut out the pointless U-turn and quickly came across Rob Rub+ Curly Tony and his Soap Box Trike complete with entourage of Peace Not War promoters selling CD's which are very good apparently. FULLeBLUNT performed Guantanamera dressed in an Orange Guantanamo jump suit.

Download FULL QUALITY mp3 here

I was placated and quite happy for the rest of the march. These Peace Not War guys are a whole new generation of non confrontational truth spitters. There is no crossover whatsoever with my generation of Reclaim the Streets style technoheads and rioters who used to cause the Police a genuine problem, party round loud sound sytems and often riot.

Most of them are either fucked up on smack on a site somewhere, too scared to come out due to the meticulous work of the FIT squad over the years or have managed to get the fuck out of here. I'm glad these are different times. I'm sure there are a lot of disapointed riot Police though. Peace Not War is a positive thing in every way. Frustration channeled into creativity.

By the time I got to boo Galloway I was a bit pissed and far away from him enough not to notice. ex-Red Ken said he was inviting the mayor of Caracass over for a fucking tea party or something. Andrew Murray was shouting for everyone to unite.

"Yeah! Unite behind me! and then GO HOME!" I shouted.

"Shut up!" shouted one person.

I met a couple of Muslims and asked them what Islam says about music.

"It doesn't say nothing. If music has a bad message it is bad, if it has a good message it is good. It depends what it is used for."

I told them this wasn't the idea I got from Finsbury park and told them about Socialistwanker.

"If you want to see what actually happened on the street in Finsbury park... They an OK bunch really. I didn't have much luck with them in the end though..."

"Thats probably cos of the name.. Socialistwanker." said one of the helpfully.

"Yeah. You know. I can't help it. I mean well."

Nice bunch. One guy was handing out a leaflet called "Iraq: Is Democracy the Answer?" with no web details. It was an explanation of why Islamic law is best written for those on the protest scene. He was masked up to the eyes and kept making sure his mask was up. I didn't think to speak to him and can't put up everything in the piece here. I'll read it again and maybe make another pdf.

Before we left we were lucky enough to meet some of the School Children against War.

"Don't listen to this rubbish. its all about you guys. What you did on your own on Day-X- amazing. You lot are great." I said, a bit pissed like.

I was fucked after that and missed the afterparty.

March 19, 2006

went to the demo, will blog it later. There is an open film night at JAMM in Brixton I'm going to try

March 18, 2006


Yeah anyway apparently someone from Peace Not War had been in the audience of the Wright Stuff and one of the producers had given her the idea that she could bring along a whole load of "Peace Activists" in Peace Not War T-shirts ahead of the demo today, which, I think she had also got the impression would be a topic on the show. Can't varify any of this, smoke signals etc.

This meant getting a load of hippies up and outside Whiteleys in W2 by 8am. I had seen the Wright Stuff a few times and thought Matthew Wright a bit more switched on than most daytime TV people and was interested to see what he'd be like in the flesh so I rocked up with Jo and sure enough there were 15 or 20 Peace Not War people ready to go with T-Shirts. We were let in to Whiteleys and sat having coffee with some of the producers and the girl who puts the phone-ins through from behind a screen. They handed around the topic's which would be discussed that morning which were

1. Should we do drug experiments on prisoners
2. Express or repress? If you feel something should you get it off your chest? Are you sick of people who moan about things etc etc
3.can't fucking remember, but it was boring.
4. Open relationships- with the shows "relationship doctor" blah blah blah

Anyway. Nothing about anything people thought they had been dragged out of bed to discuss and someone said

"Princess productions have stitched us up."

Various excusses about producers etc and buck passing were meekly put into the air as someone came around asking us if we had anything to contribute on any of the subjects. I wasn't bothered as I am not really an "activist" anymore, I was happy to sit and watch how the Wright stuff was put together.

I mentioned that I liked to get my feelings out on my blog, and that I was loosely involved with three girls, was happy to fuck people who fucked other people a lot of the time and had various successes and faliures with "Open Relationships" particularly when I took a lot more acid 10 years ago. As long as all involved were confident with themselves there was a higher morality involved in these things which was dificult to maintain against the accepted culture around us, but it was there nonetheless.

"If we come to you, talk about the rest of it, but leave out the acid."

I was offered a Peace Not War T-Shirt to wear but said I was happy with the hentai cartoon T-Shirt I was wearing.

So we were led upstairs where one of these Tiswas style "floor managers" came out shouting

"Is everybody happy? Mobile phones switched off etc. If you shout out I'll throw you out etc."

I can never tell if people put on this "Zany TV" act or if it is cocaine.

We were led into the tiny two row audience space which we filled. Matthew Wright was there sitting next to some painted barbie, a comedian I vaguely recognised and.. as I sat down next to Rob Rub I asked him

"Thats Carol Thatcher isn't it?"

Matthew and all of them fairly much ignored us, the comedian made a joke about everyone getting out of bed wearing the same T-Shirt. They all seemed to be overacting in the same patronising manner. I couldn't tell if it was "Zany TV" or cocaine.

As the show started, someone had obviously complained enough for Mr. Wright to quickly plug the next days demo before he set about talking to the bimbo who was apparently called "Ce-Ce" about thousand pound handbags. It felt as if I was actually watching TV. There was a gulf between us in the audience and the "panel" in front of us that I dearly wanted us to smash. I canvased the opinion of those around me whispering

"Hijack! Come on! Lets do it! Its fucking live TV! There's more of us than there are of them! Come on!"

As they all discussed the papers the floor manager was "fake cackling" in a ridiculous manner. I couldn't tell if it was due to "Zany TV" or cocaine. We all struggled to laugh.

"We need a plan." said Rob "The Rub" Rub who was sitting next to me.

I looked across the other side at Magic Dave who was actually laughing along to all this bollocks. I motioned with my eyes in what I hoped was a Come on! Lets do it! sort of way. What fucking plan? What happened to spontenaity?

Who took over the Wright stuff and got it taken off air yesterday? Oh it was those fucking Peace Not War activists. Why? They were fukcing pissed off at getting conned into being part of the studio audience for nothing so they ran around like idiots in their Peace Not War T-Shirts...

Its not as if TV shows suffer from this kind of publicity either.

In one of the breaks the Tiswas floor manager shuffled us around and asked a few people to cover up their Peace not War T-Shirts.

"You sit where I tell you." he said to someone.

"Your mum scared my life!" I shouted out to Carol Thatcher fixing her with as evil grin as I could muster, the coffee they had given us kicking in somewhat. She looked back at me, her eyes glazing over a bit, unsure what to say.

I got swapped up to the middle of the audience next to the guy with the microphone, to be ready to talk about blogging. I chased a few butterflies around my stomach and put my hands together focusing my energy between them in Johnny Wilkinson manner.

I couldn't really hear what was being said in front of me from the phone-in's or from Matthew as the voice in my head was coaching me.

"Blah blah blah blah blah a view from the audience...blah blah.... the internet.."

"Yes Matthew I like to get my feelings out through blogging. People can read or not. Its up to them."

"Do you find this helps?"

"Definately I'll be blogging about all this, especially meeting the daughter of the evil one.."

"Would you like to come back on that Carol?"

"Maybe after the show..."

I don't think she does spontenaity either.

"Ha ha. She's going to kick your head in." said someone next to me.

In the next break Matthew gave me a wink and a thumbs up and Carol Thatcher gave me a very sporting smile which I returned. The panel were all demicrophoned as Matthew went across to another couch with some blonde American "Relationship doctor" on it. I didn't see Carol come over until she was right in front of me.

"I'll send your love to "the evil one."" she said.

"Nice one!"

As she walked away I thought I should have followed her and talked to her some more. I really do have an irationally huge hatred for her mother. There is going to be such a party when she dies.

The audience camera came back to me.

"You realise it is the same guy..." said the audience mike guy into his headset.

The camera went away.

As we left I let it out a bit louder.

"You fucking shower. There were more of us than there were of them. We could have had that fucking floor manager easy. How plastic was that woman? Fucking hell. It was like she was made of cardboard, you'd push her and she'd fall flat."

I didn't realise there were still media interns around with Wright Stuff T-Shirts and apologised.

"No, don't apologise.." they said, more or less showing they agreed with me.

If any protest group with balls wants to hijack the Wright Stuff it would be very easy. They are desperate for audience members at that time in the morning. Plan or no plan, its live TV. Go for it. Knock yourself out.

I'm going to the demo today, but only to boo George Galloway.

UPDATE: Spoke to Carol from Peace Not War, she said that Matthew Wright argued for them to be there in the days running up to this, and on the morning itself. She says he's a nice guy and as a group she would rather prove to these people that activists aren't all leary protesters and have a positive contribution to make in the mainstream. Not sure if it'll work with Princess Productions, can only wish them all luck really. An interesting morning anyway.

March 17, 2006


OK. The "difficult" Day Nine is great so far. First successful infiltration of Malung-TV News into the mainstream for a long while, this time on Matthew Wright's Wright Stuff on Channel 5. I got to call Carol Thatcher "Daughter of the Evil one."

"Would you like to come back on that?" said Matthew turning to Carol.

"Maybe after the show..." she said. And she did.

Thats success no?

I was talking about blogging funny enough.

"Should have plugged the name of your blog" said Jo who was also in the studio audience after.


I'll go into more detail later....

March 16, 2006

to look

My uncle, the only living one from my mother’s side, is about 80 years old, a healthy, handsome and good looking gentleman. He was in his way to bring his wife home; she was in a visit to her parents, when he was shot by American soldiers, he was alone in his car, no eye witness, several bullets penetrate his car, three of them penetrate his body, he died immediately.


Very timely that I get to see the Falling Man film just now. It was everything I was saying about confronting what makes us uncomfortable through our eyes. To look. And search for understanding within ourselves.

Tom Jenou went on just that journey trying to indentify "the jumper" against the tide of what was "acceptable" in search of uncomfortable and unknowable answers.

Part of me also felt throughout that the film was sensitively dressed voyeurism, but voyeurism just the same, which made me angry at the sensitive dressing. It made me realise why I have been more comfortable making edits and sticking them online rather than pursuing a comercially "saleable" film.

The hostility of some of the grieving families toward journalists brought up feelings I felt when talking to Mr. Hamza's friends. What right has anyone to intrude on anothers life for "a story"? Unless it is for humanity to look. And to learn.


OK day eight feels fantastic. Semi Organic salad two half hour vipassna sessions, mind drifting for most of it but thats cool. Went to an Indymedia film night in Potabello on tuesday. Maybe 50 or 60 people there. Good turn out. I haven't been to one of these in years and don't consider my films to be "indymedia" really.

I watched the Fourth World War which was good in that I agreed with everything in it but I'm afraid I'm a bit off dogmatic voice overs whatever the political hue. The central information was simple. South Africa. End of Apartheid. Had the choice to make utilities public- money goes to the people, ANC followed the IMF making it all private- people still in the shit. Argentina, IMF crashes the economy, people try to take over their country by working with each other.

I'm remided of the simplicity of the Motorcycle Diaries where the director shows us beautifully filmed locals to say- All over South America. Indigenous people. Homeless on their own land because of Capitalism.

After the film a girl recently returned from Palestine recounted her experiences.

She told of Illegal settlements of "california style" houses being built on Palestinian lands with the indigenous Palestinians unable to reach their olive trees for fear of being shot. Fences everywhere with gates opened at the soldiers discretion, journeys which previously took 15 minutes taking four hours.

Even when the Israeli courts declare a settlement illegal they keep building, one settler built 500 houses of which 200 were occupied, 80 percent by poorer Israelis who couldn't afford tel Aviv prices, 20 percent by fundamentalist Zionists who believe the land belongs to their ancestors.

She showed us pictures of burnt Olive trees and holes where explosives were buried to blow up hillsides to clear space for housing. She said that among the internationals they tried to make sure at least three were in the valley at any one time, the settlers would shoot at the Palestinians with no provocation and the Soldiers who would be around would mostly be settlers themselves.

I think I'm going to do some more meditation.


March 15, 2006


Bloody hell. Seven days straight. This is like taking acid. Sense of humour, emotions. I almost cry when I talk to people. Intensity. Confidence will come next and then look out world. I've had so much God damn computer trouble with both computers I use. I'm not going to bore you with geekdom, suffice to say, many hours. Neither fixed. At all. If you are a geek, this website is good though.

One of my K stories is part of some serious piece about NDEs on a site called Survival of Consciousness After Death? (scroll down to Ketamine NDE stories)

Fancy that.

(UPDATE!!! two of them! and the one circa Mr. Hamza's arrest is so good its linked twice...)

Now thats what you call blogscience. I wouldn't like my conciousness to survive in the ketamine world I've seen. I vote for reincarnation. Shit you can't vote on these things. Bollocks.

In other news- and I can't quite believe this one: Chef is loosing his voice! This is earth shattering. I hope the Southpark guys strike Chef mute as a protest and get the kids to stick things up his ass until he comes back. Come on Issac... don't be a twat.

My throat is just about recovering from this escapade.

M.. err Ishmael pointed out to me once that although the Times was a Murdoch megaphone, it had good stuff in it particularly internationally. As today involved a short train journey I bought one and along with the frightening news about Southpark I found this great piece about the emerging nightlife of Kabul.

I remember old hippies in India telling me that in the sixties Kabul was a high point in sense of the word, with girls in mini skirts etc. I can't find anything online worth linking to, haven't got time to really look. I remember a great "Kabul free press" or some liberal intellectualist 1970s pre-afghan destruction journal in one of the smoking dens of the Smugglers Bazaar in Peshawar... Memories of a more relaxed time. Maybe Ishmael can help.

Ishmael? Are you sure? That is as wierd as Camel.

AHHHHH!!!! Fuck!!!! My fucking bus!!!

Bollocks!!! I just finnished the fucking paintwork!!

FUCK!!!! fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck....

"I never wanted to be famous, especially not in this way,"

March 14, 2006

The World

du Monde is a very entertaining Frenchman I met over on Sparkle's blog. I enjoyed his comments so much I linked to him in his own special category when he didn't even have a blog. He still hasn't got one, now I realise, because he isn't sure what a blog is. If anyone knows, tell him.

When I started this blog I thought I'd get more abuse considering the subject matter. I'm fucking disapointed. Really let down. Hundreds of people have watched my movies who must fucking hate Fundamental Islamists.

Not a dicky bird.

Fucking pussies.

The only comments I have ever deleted have been wait.. ISHMAEL's (Ishmael now? OK whatever) and that is cos he's like my brother you know? and brothers have a way of getting under your fucking skin haven't they?

Piece of shit vs Tata. No fucking contest.

Check it out via Big Dog who I'm sure would love one of these. Like I've told him in the comments below, the Tata busses in India piss all over these. They regularly drive off the side of mountains and no one even notices.They think they are taking a shortcut.

...At a distance of two meters from the second Rhino Runner the terrorist detonated more than 250 pounds of explosives creating a crater 6 feet wide and 2 feet deep. There was a dust cloud over 1,000 feet long.

There were seventeen passengers and a driver on the second Rhino at the time of the explosion. There were no injuries at all in what the Army called a “massive explosion.”...

Woooo!!! thix feet wide!!! two feet deep!!! Woooo!!! I'm th-cared!!!.

Fucking piece of doggie doo. Tata's jump over craters bigger than that on the fucking schoolrun. The kids just hold on a bit tighter to the boxes of chickens and stare out of the window bored.

Here is some more stuff Mr. Big Dog wants to alert you to.

Oh and here is a bio-diesel blog I found looking for the Tata image.


I don't understand people who try to shape public conciousness with symbolism. The 7/7 and 9/11 bombers symbolicaly "attack America" and "Britain". No they don't. They kill random innocent people which does nothing for their cause however valid. The US symbolicaly "round up" some Muslims from Afghanistan to pretend they are doing something about the perpetrators of 9/11. No you're not, you're being dense and stupid and turning whatever good will there was in the Muslim community after 9/11 against you. Fuck you. Fuck you all. Fuck your symbolism.


This is more like drug taking than drug taking is. No sleep last light. Wide awake all night. Meditated between 5 and 6 just to stay sane and try and slow my thought process. Meditated again between 9 and 10, did some yoga ate organic avocado, posh expensive spelt-grain whatever bread. Bags of manic energy. I can feel a wide range of emotions. Got to go really careful today. Yesterday I watched two of my friends bonging, wasn't even tempted. When I've done this before day 9 was the worst. I'm not going to give away the secret yet but Josef's friends have booked us another go at UKTV hijacking which happily coincides. Whats going to happen? look

(click on the pic)


...They will fight you with masks or without. After the fight they will go back to their order of business just as we do. They will regroup just as we do. They will prepare for another day of fighting just as we do. What are we truly fighting and why I ask myself? I am sure they feel the pain of loss just as we do when we lose a fellow warrior. Make no mistake about it, I am not putting them on the same level as US Soldiers but they must think in a similar fashion when the fight is done and the sun finally sets or rises for that day...

March 13, 2006


This film claims that a lot of the news coming out of Palestine is staged and spin-doctored.


I tried to post this yesterday.

OK day four. Skipped meditation with, how shall we say, consequences. I realise that its tempting to take solace in drink rather than face what I have to face, also coffee has adjusted my mood more than I would like today. I've been wondering if this is a process of removal with London being the last thing on the list.

Clicking through Bill X's Omegaprojektet I noticed an interesting article about the US Marines stepping up their hunt for deserters of the Vietnam era. I had already been thinking about why soldiers and terrorists cross lines of “acceptable behaviour” after watching Road to Guantanamo. In the article one of the deserters spoke about Vietnam era Marines with necklaces of human ears from the Mai lai massacres.

This is beyond my comprehension, but to me Malung TV is all about trying to face things that aren't in the scope of my comprehension, (including in this diary format, facing myself) hence the fascination with Republican thinking and with Fundamental Islam. I can't imagine wanting to massacre or wanting a necklace of ears. I used to think this was because I was a toker until my bong experiences told me that all these states must exist within all of us. Also, as every toker knows the word “assassin” comes from “Hashshashin” a tribe of ganja fueled killers from the Golan heights.

Anyway, this week I also took a look at some online news people made with Abu Hamza where he says he would be a hypocrite if he didn't admit to being happy about 9/11 and also justifies the guys who took Western hostages in Yemen (four of whom died) to bargain for his sons and their friends release saying “We have warned people not to go to these hot spots”.

I never got round to speaking to Mohssain, Mustapha or Shahid about all this, which is a shame. The Encyclopedia of Afghani Jihad seemed, from what I heard at the trial, to contain established ways to de-stablise regimes gleaned from CIA manuals which were themselves put together from many years trial and error. Hamza and co train in Afghanistan to do it freelance, the US forces do the same in Iraq on a larger scale.

I can't understand any of it. I don't have the belief either the CIA or the Jihadi's have. I can only open my eyes. Look. Try to understand and see if that understanding enables me to contribute in some way towards a solution. Looking into this ear necklace shit I found more recent disturbing images from Iraq. I can't understand the mentality of people who would take pictures of tanks running over bodies, or heads caught in tank tracks.

I wonder if there is a yearning in some people to cross boundaries of human behaviour. Whether the sanctioned communal experience of a group of marines in these “extreme reaction” forces in Guantanamo grunting and stomping their way to a cage and beating the shit out of the occupant is necessary for them in some way.

Maybe they need an enemy. They need that enemies body parts mangled in their tank tracks. The “Milblogs” monicker justifies this so: "Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

I think I'm going to read more of these. I remember a film about D.H. Lawrence where an Australian fascist says that killing another human being made him feel like a saint. It occurs to me that maybe Marines enjoy this freedom. They need it.

I don't know if I am a pacifist, as I've said in an earlier post, I'm a crysalis at the moment.The methods of Ghandi to gain an Independent Indian state definitely resonate with me, but I spent my formative years wanting to be like Jesus, so I'm not surprised I'm like this now.

When I used to think about massacres in Cambodia and Rwanda I wondered whether the Yin Yang thing meant that there would always be clouds of evil hovering around the planet which required people to be reduced to body parts. Maybe the compulsion of violent films or competitive sports is a strain of the same bloodlust.

Then i try and think about how a concept of "God" might fit in to all this. The Koran contains examples of hostage situtations, the Old testament is extremely bloodthirsty. Whenever I think there might be a benevolent God I am reminded of examples from nature itself which seem to suggest quite the opposite.

I don't know why I as a human being have a buring desire, almost a “faith” that humanity will one day rise above all of this. I'm no stary eyed hippy. If we are going to do it we can't shy away from facing all of this in ourselves and in others.

I am drawn to what Mozzam Begg says at the end of his piece:

"...People in power do not like to talk about compromise, and they do not like to talk about speaking to the other side. But in essence, if they do not do that, then the spiral of violence can only get worse."

How many times have we heard this? How many times have I mentioned this with increasing frustration? Its not fucking rocket science. I'd talk to any of them with a camera running. Terrorists about destablising dictatorships, Soldiers about running over dead bodies in tanks- the lot, but not in situ. I have no desire to wear a blue bullet proof vest and a blue hemet marked TV filming people shooting at each other. I just want everyone to get over it.

March 12, 2006

Profile of a Suicide Bomber

via Omegaprojektet:

Mrs Balfour, wife of the Labour MP John Trickett, valued him and allowed him paid special leave. "He was great with the children and they all loved him," she has said. "He did so much for them, helping and supporting them and running extra clubs and activities."

Khan's handwritten notes, which seem to be a part of his appraisals, reveal more. "I'm energetic, I [look for a] way of bettering things," he wrote. "Can build up trust and rapport with disillusion, understanding and empathy."

Khan clearly became disenchanted with the modest form of Islam practised by his father, Tika Khan, and stepmother, Mamida Begum. But in 1999 he had started frequenting the mosque. His file shows the process to radical Islam had started by 2002, a year after he joined Hillside. He began taking leave on religious grounds.

He took more than two weeks in January/February 2002 for "Muslim religious obligation, Haj, pilgrimage" and a similar period for "religious observances" the next year. From November 2003, he took 18 months, costing his employer an estimated £6,000.

But the sharp decline came in September 2004 when he was signed off sick, first for three days, then a further 10 days, a further three weeks and another three weeks. He is believed to have cited depression.

On 9 December 2004, after 10 weeks of absence began, Mrs Balfour told her personnel department in an "urgent" memo: "Sidique Khan should have provided the school with a sick note from November 22. Despite several letters reminding him of the school's sickness-reporting procedures he has failed to provide a sick-note. I request you to stop [his] pay."

Three days before, Khan had flown to Pakistan via Istanbul with Shahzad Tanweer. A week later, they took a train to Lahore then Faisalabad, and disappeared, Pakistani security officers said. They surfaced in Britain on 8 February.

MI5 believes they met Muslim extremists during the visit. Khan died, killing seven others, when he detonated his bomb at Edgware Road station on 7 July.