March 31, 2005


Fucking great documentaries on British terrestrial TV at the moment.

Repeating all week on channel 4 is Jamies school dinners. We are seriously raving about it on socialistwanker as it is possibly the most important documentary ever made. What happened to this country in 18 years of Thatcherism and 8 years of New Labour? Why do adults of 40 and 50 claim never to have eaten a runner bean? And they are the fucking dinner ladies who are training to cook the new diet.

Throughout this series it is the truth which is astounding. A doctor shows an x-ray of a typical Greenwich schoolkid who eats no roughage to a point beyond constipation when they are actually throwing up shit.

"You've got to do this." the doctor tells Jamie.

It feels like Jamie Oliver is politely smashing the government around the head with a brick. Fantastic. If his school dinner revolution works it will have repercusions throughout the nation and (hopefully) the fast food industry. It was amazing watching him using fast food tactics like catchy songs and costumes to convert the kids from their junk food addiction.

On the other side earlier (BBC2) I watched a horrific documentary about the introduction of the ban on the Hijab in French schools. Young French Muslim girls being stopped at the entrance to the school and being told to uncover their ears and foreheads. A seemingly intelligent headmaster assuming that the girls who are most opposed to the ban have links with terrorists.


Could this happen in this country? You betcha.

Tonight at 10 on C4 is a documentary called You're Fayed in which Mohamed Al-Fayed will claim to be an "anarchist billionaire" I can't wait.

March 28, 2005

Following around to see a life that’s never in
Always calling itself on its own phone
Though it’s never quite at home
In the world today.

The Cardiacs

Abdullah,Hamza and Hajj with Dan Rivers from ITN


I'm over the moon that I can at least have a stab at this documentary after two years of nail biting but there are a couple of things that bother me. I've looked at a few websites Jamal has pointed out to me and its basically clear that they believe every conspiracy theory on the internet.

Thats fine.

In television-land conspiracy theorists are rarely terrorists. Jamal and co claim that the whole media is controlled by a high level conspiracy between some Jewish buisnesmen. They believe in a lot of holocaust revisionism. None of this should be a suprise. As long as they make clear that they do not have anything against Jewish people on the whole, to me it is just like someone believing that Jesus died for their sins. People believe bizzare things all of which may or may not be true.

None of this bothers me.

What really bothers me is being Hajj-less. In all my footage with Hajj he just jumps out of the screen. He's onscreen British Fundamental Islam how no one would ever imagine seeing it on T.V. Now Hajj and Abdullah have parted company I've got Obelix without an Asterix and it doesn't look right.

One of the funniest things I have on film is that the guys closest to this evil "hook" character the tabloids have built ( Abdullah and Hajj) came across more like Asterix and Obelix than scheming, evil, murderous terrorists.

I've often wondered what would be the best, and the most interesting and universally useful thing I could get on T.V. about these guys. I feel as if I want to step back with my own beliefs. To take as much neutral ground as possible is the responsible and most interesting journey to take.

In my wildest documentary dreams I would introduce misses Rightwingsparkle to Hajj.

Hajj often used to say to me,

"I will debate with anyone. Even racists. We must have understanding about these things."

I'm sure they'd find more empathy than either of them would imagine. There are so many things that misses Rightwingsparkle and Hajj would agree strongly about. God, Religion, abortion.

I'm also certain they'd have an electric discussion about what they disagree with about each others cultures and interpretations of world events.

I think what would transpire in this scenario would be useful to the people's of Britain and America, whether Right or left wing, Bible believers or heathen. What could be better television?

What would a rightwing Texan who reads this sort of thing make of an old Islamic Fundamentalist like Hajj who reads this? Would they even meet? I want to find out.

March 27, 2005


Still pissed and stoned continually. Malung life feels good. Missing the company of WOMAN at the moment but that’s cool. I’m onicherrrr about it as Mr. Goenka would say.(Quicktime video) Not meditating hardly at all.

Would you know it I’ve finally got Abdullah and co’s agreement to start approaching the broadcasters.

How long have I been doing this? Will anyone still be interested? Hamza's trial is on July 4th.

“Write something nice about me on your website, and try not to swear too much in your film OK Bones.?”

And there it was.

It was good to see Abdullah and Jamal. Abdullah was wearing the same shades he had on in the Mirror expose. He told me epic tales of how he had been to another mosque, asked a question and was carried out and beaten up by 50-100 people. This was reported in the Mirror. He said he stood there and took it without fighting back. Someone smashed his cheekbone with a metal bar. His old friends in the underworld contacted him offering help- and none of them are Muslims. He turned them down because of his faith in Allah. This guy lives life like someone out of the koran no?

Abdullah had a bit of a go at me because of the way I questioned him previously. Can’t blame him really. I felt pretty stupid doing it. I’m glad it didn’t make the news. Documentary is much better. Room to breathe.

I have no idea who the fuck did 9-11 or what happened inside Finsbury Park mosque or who Abu Hamza is. This is my journey. A lot of it has been so dark and lonely. I’m so happy that I have recorded it here.

March 25, 2005

sometimes you gotta...even if u r a malung.

March 21, 2005


Since my performance faliure I've been pissed every day and it feels really good. Maybe Malung's are supposed to be like this. This way it makes sense. I drank all morning at the club and stepped out into the bright sunshine heading for the anti-war march with no sleep. Mike brought our banners. His summary of proceedings is here.

The "Its all your fault" banner was a really dark, dark thing neither of us wanted to carry until we were really pissed. I had a good chat with a member of the SWP (the one who didn't call us scum)who gave us what he believed was the other side of the anti-SWP stuff on socialistwanker. Mike asked him if he was offended by our banners. He repiled that he just thought they were stupid. I agreed with him and invited him to contribute an article to our site on any topic he wants. He is the third member of the SWP I have met who I have extended this invitation to.

We had quite a few random protesters come up to us who appreciated the humour how it was meant. Even the security women who Mike was arguing with (pictured on his article)

seemed to find it funny and she laughed when I heckled George Galloway for being boring.

A nice girl I met at Synergy said to me

"It's a bit bad for you to be encouraging animosity with these people if you are basically on the same side no?"

I had to agree with her really. It was a really fun day though.

We are pictured on a cheerful Indymedia article here


Well I did my malung-tv-news show at Synergy. Bit of a disaster really. I spent 4 days editing it and then didn't organise printing the script which left me rewritting by hand what I could remember. Everyone involved in Synergy was very understanding.

Whilst I was performing I felt no conviction in what I was saying and I wondered what on earth I thought hippies whould find interesting about Fundamental Islam. Whilst I was waiting to do part 2 I wondered what had posessed me to want to show the Synergy audience 5 minutes of the editor jacking up for no apparent reason.

To the credit of the Synergy Project again, the two people I did tell of my intentions both were really supportive even from the brief description I gave them. In the end I self-censored and decided I couldn't justify it. What the fuck am I trying to do?


One of the things I have learned that I wouldn't have done if I hadn't started blogging is that there seems either to be a certain breed of Catholic, or Texan or both who seem to be totally at ease expressing what their beliefs mean to them and yet also have a relaxed and unjudgemental attitude towards those who do not share their belief. Kimberley is like this too. Is it Catholics or Texans or Catholics from Texas? This quality is rare in religious people and is something I appreciate very much.

March 16, 2005

Well we thought it was funny...


After putting our stop the war banner up on socialistwanker (Its all your fault) I got a call from a dear friend and long time spiritual mentor to our site. She didn’t like the picture at all.

“Its squalid and it will ruin any credibility you have built up.”

“No one’s ever accused us of having credibility..” I answered laughing.

“Credibility is a good thing David. How old are you? What are you trying to say? If you take that on a peace march it’s an insult to everyone who has been against this war. The government have lied. Thousands of people have died.”

“But its not directed at peace campaigners. Its directed at the government. Like they've turned us all into junkies by going to war. It's not supposed to be serious...”

I called up the editor who agreed.

“ We haven’t got any credibility. We want to piss everyone off…”

I have since decided to reedit it to include the word TONY.

March 15, 2005


The Sun yesterday ran a story claiming that a 16 stone arthritic woman was writing love letters to Abu Hamza inside Belmarsh. Now I'm not sure if I am just a crap researcher but I swear the guys told me that Hamza wasn't allowed correspondence. This being Malung-TV-News crap reasearch is a distinct posibility.

In related news our local village mayor went on the BBC claiming that London was more at risk from bird flu than Al Qaida

"My big worry about the legislation, though, is you rely on the advice of the security services. My experience of MI5 is that they are so often wrong".

March 14, 2005


Its great to get your sterotypes blown. The socialistwanker editor and I got to meet our lone female (Texan) article contributor yesterday who was passing through London on holiday.

“Is she going to buy us lunch?” asked the editor when I called him to invite him the day before.

This vexed me a bit. She had contributed an article to us and so I figured it was us who owed her. I hoped the editor would behave himself. I called him the next morning. He was unsure where he was.

“Are you going to behave yourself?”


“They are in the Hilton on Edgware rd.”

I didn't know whether they would let someone like me into the Hilton hotel reception. I had only ever been there before as a motorbike courier. I thought Kimberley would be big, not so pretty and have something about her manner I would consider annoyingly American so I was really pleased to find that I was wrong on all counts and a bit guilty for having such a negative imagination when it came to Americans.

She had a couple of friends with her and we all went for lunch at a Lebanese restaurant on the Edgware rd, the disheveled ex-editor phoning quite a number of times threatening that he was on his way.

“No we’re not coming to Finsbury Park to get you. The girls only have a few hours. Meet us here.”

It was really nice to meet some Texans and I found myself instantly jealous of the fact that Kimberley knew where home was and although she didn’t like her work she obviously fitted into the western world a bit easier than I did. She wasn’t a shockable American at all and the way she talked about her beliefs made Roman Catholicism seem more like Buddhism than the vague Buddhism I almost believe but don’t practice. We had a 30 something yearning for children in common, an urge I think she is more likely to fulfill than I.

Kimberley and friends also spoke of a mythical rootin tootin stetson and cowboy boots wearin opinionated republican they knew who once went ballistic in a London American style bar because they had the flag of Texas upsidedown. We've been looking for one of these for ages to fill our "Guest Republican" slot. Could he be the one?

When we started socialistwanker I never imagined that we'd be making connections in Bush's home state, but after e-meeting Jenjus, Rightwingsparkle, Kimberley et al, we might just get introduced at the Bush's home ranch for tea yet.

I ate a Lebanese sausage sandwich that put every other sausage sandwich I have ever eaten to shame. After eating it I couldn’t believe how other takeaways could consider calling their greasy chopped in half with a bit’o mustard efforts sausages or sandwiches.

They all remarked that they never had met a junkie before.

“Mike’s just a kid really. He’s lovely. When he arrives try to appear shocked by the things he says. That’ll make him happy.”

We had a quick practice. “Well! I declare!” and “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

When he did arrive he actually looked a lot more of a junkie than usual, though he had apparently been off the stuff for a couple of weeks. He was pale unshaven and wearing sunglasses inside. If I had seen him first I would have got up and bumped into him saying

“Sorry mate! You didn’t see me.” like I try to with everyone I see wearing sunglasses inside.

He sat and tried to shock.

“I try and do something everyday I haven’t done before.”

“ Err.. go on then Mike…”

“ Let’s ride on the bus with no tickets.”

“ Err.. I think these girls come from a state where people carry guns in the street...” I tried to help.

It was lovely finding out that people you meet by chance on the internet actually do exist in real life and I was pleased that my suspicions that people might look and act different, but we are not really that different to each other at all were confirmed.

Mike must have been happy because as we got up to leave Kimberley insisted on paying for lunch for all of us. True Texan hospitality in London. Thank you Kimberley! Have a lovely holiday!

March 11, 2005


Krishnan from Channel 4 news:

The Government claims it is protecting us from terror,
the Lords say they are saving us from a fate worse than death - the
erosion of everything that makes British democracy and freedom what it is.
It boils down to this: a sunset clause versus an annual review. The
Tories and Lords want the terror bill to die in a year's time, by which
time there will have been enough time to write a better bill. The
government claims this would send out a message to the terrorists that Britain
isn't taking this seriously. Instead they say an annual review of the
law would be better.

So hold in your head if you will the image of an evil terrorist,
watching the news tonight at the same time as you, deciding whether or not to
pack up, go home and forget about attacking Britain depending on
whether the terror bill has a sunset clause or an annual review. I know, it
sounds like a weak attempt to join in Comic Relief. But it isn't.

sign up for snowmails

Channel 4 Mozzam Begg interview here

March 10, 2005


Just when I was seriously despairing I got a call from Samir. Sounds like a meeting is definitely in order again. If we still have a story with no mosque- Well lets see.

He gave me their version of the Sun's Crook smack hook story. They say that according to his family no inmates have attacked him but the Prison guards treat him badly.

I haven't looked at their site in a long while. Looking around it its interesting that according to Hamza sound effects and such music is haram (forbidden) as are cartoons but digital photography is OK as long as the images are not manipulated.

Samir also filled me in on a number of points of Islamo-politics in London including the fact that one of the new leaders of the mosque knows Abu Hamza very well and has been round his house for tea on a number of occasions although it sounds like they did not agree entirely in their philosophical viewpoints.

Briefly looking through this google search I can quickly see that Mr. Tamimi gets into trouble when talking about suicide bombing same as Hamza does. The clear difference between them is that Tammimi believes Muslims should take part in the democratic process whereas Hamza preaches that this is haram (forbidden)

March 09, 2005


I am not sure exactly what I wrote to Abu Abdullah when he pulled out of our meeting this time but it went something like this.

I am sorry that our meeting has again not taken place and as you say it is my fault for not confirming. I'm afraid it never occurred to me that you would think that I would arrange a meeting with you and someone who has to come all the way from Oxford and not turn up. What on earth do you think I have been doing for the last year and a half? If you didn't want to do this you could have told me over a year ago and I might be a qualified teacher, or in Africa by now.

Another thing I do not understand is the fact that you are shy about cooperating with me yet you have totally cooperated with BBC and ITV news every time they come to Finsbury park when you know that all they will put on the TV is close up of your masked friends and anything you say which may be construed as threatening. If you worked for MI5 yourself you couldn't have engineered things better.

Another thing I don't understand is how you seem to think you are doing me some sort of favour by talking to me. You have the worlds media as a unified voice saying one thing about you, I thought you might appreciate one persons attempt to put the other side even if I am not a Muslim.

You told me that you have "already given me so much footage." What have you ever "given" me? I turned up week in week out of my own accord to film what I could see happening because I thought that you weren't terrorists.

As I have said, if I was going to stitch you up with my footage I'd have done it by now, instead I am being evicted over and over again, I have no idea where I will be living at Christmas.

What do you want me to do?


I had a welcome break meditating but the whole time it was almost impossible to steer my mind away from my Finsbury park documentary story to focus on my breath. Now I am back I wonder what I am left with and if it is still viable.

If Abu Abdullah had agreed to this project first time I proposed it over a year ago the Mirror newspaper would never have been able to do their "exposed!" story. If he had agreed the last time I had a meeting with a profesional lined up which he backed out of we would have been filming at exactly the same time as the Mirror guys infiltrated and we'd have had a fantastic story.

Now they've been kicked out, with apparently no hope or wish to return I'm not sure my documentary is still current or what angle to take it from. The whole thing is hugely frustrating. I can't blame anyone. If I had been in the eye of the hugely inordinate media atention at Finsbury park mosque I suppose I would believe evil Zionists control everything on TV too.

As far as I am concerned I have no idea whether this is true or not but have never had a problem presenting the fact that this is what they believe. Thats what a fucking documentary is no?

I always took the view that if a TV company got hold of a film claiming to show the views of Abu Hamza's friends which didn't say they believed that a secret Zionist elite ran the world they would want their money back no?

I've never considered myself to be "On their side." but watching them completely fuck it up for themselves week in week out, making sure only a threatening portrayal of their beliefs gets to the TV whilst I've been on the sidelines trying to get this going has been excruciatingly painful at times. I needed to lock myself away to meditate.

Abu Abdullah was so convinced anything I did would never reach the TV undoctored he never gave me the chance to find out for myself. Maybe its still possible that I'll get the chance as Hamza's court case is still current.

I suppose its possible that whatever I do will be forensically picked apart and reeditted by evil Zionist media wizards to make the Muslims look like terrorists but I've always doubted it. I don't think it is technically possible to make anything worse than they gave BBC and ITV news for 2 years.

The moral of the story?

If you spend two years of your life trying to document the views of people whos religion you don't share who are having all the evils of terrorism laid at their door by the whole worlds media, don't expect to get them to trust you in a hurry even if you do have bones through your earlobes.

March 08, 2005



We had a fantastic journey back from the meditation centre five up in a landrover courtesy of charlie who has a fantastic website called I will always remember going round and round a roundabout somewhere in between Glouster and Oxford with no idea which exit to get off on laughing and laughing.

I jumped out at Hampstead heath and stayed with friends. I was briefly tempted to go out and take some acid on a dancefloor but chose instead to pull back and fit myself back into London life a bit more shanti like. (see? meditation makes you talk like a fucking hippie)

On my way home an old friend called me and told me about a baba who gave satsang in a Brixton council house, so I went down still with a bag full of sleeping gear etc. Sure enough on the ground floor of a council house, behind a whole load of plants lived a peaceful Jamaican baba. There were maybe 12 people in the room listening to him. Mostly Spanish and Italians. When he finnished he brought out a massive pot of chai for everyone. He gave loads of huge hugs to people as the left which made me a bit nervous but when I got round to saying goodbye I got a hug too. All my English self conciousness left me as I melted into a huge genuine hug with a complete stranger.

If ever you are in London and need a hug go and visit Mooji.


Well I'm back. Almost lost my voice yabbering after the 10 days silence. Mixed feelings this time. I haven't got the huge elation I had both the previous times I've locked my self in with the booming disembodied voice of Mr. Goenka but I kind of feel its my own fault as my rational mind resisted the teaching again about day 8.

They gave me a cell this time and I ended up sitting in it naked thinking I was going to meditate proper Sadhu style which is all very funny, but as no one is there to appreciate it its a bit of a waste of time really. I made friends with a lot of trees and a bird though.

I ended up literally split down the middle. The left side of me was in pure meditation, the right side of me was all over the place wondering if Mr. Goenka wasn't the mumbo jumbo guru my mum warned me existed in India.

If he just gave you the teaching it would be fine but Mr. Goenka lays the guruing on with a huge fucking trowel- but hey, I knew that the first two times I did his version of Vipassna. Hippies and Indian people love the guruing but it jars so much against the punk ethos I never knew I had until my first tangle with Mr. goenka in Jaipur way back in 1999.

Oh well, I met some fantastic people this time including a Norweigan guy who had been put in Delhi jail at the age of 19 and had learnt vippasna inside, he was with another Norweigan who had made a film about him and the widder story of the miracle of vipassna in Delhi jail. There was also a fantastic ex-crackhead with tatoos all over his body and half his face.

Mr. Goenka is growing on me. I didn't totally hate him by day 9 this time anyway so I must be making progress.