March 08, 2005


Well I'm back. Almost lost my voice yabbering after the 10 days silence. Mixed feelings this time. I haven't got the huge elation I had both the previous times I've locked my self in with the booming disembodied voice of Mr. Goenka but I kind of feel its my own fault as my rational mind resisted the teaching again about day 8.

They gave me a cell this time and I ended up sitting in it naked thinking I was going to meditate proper Sadhu style which is all very funny, but as no one is there to appreciate it its a bit of a waste of time really. I made friends with a lot of trees and a bird though.

I ended up literally split down the middle. The left side of me was in pure meditation, the right side of me was all over the place wondering if Mr. Goenka wasn't the mumbo jumbo guru my mum warned me existed in India.

If he just gave you the teaching it would be fine but Mr. Goenka lays the guruing on with a huge fucking trowel- but hey, I knew that the first two times I did his version of Vipassna. Hippies and Indian people love the guruing but it jars so much against the punk ethos I never knew I had until my first tangle with Mr. goenka in Jaipur way back in 1999.

Oh well, I met some fantastic people this time including a Norweigan guy who had been put in Delhi jail at the age of 19 and had learnt vippasna inside, he was with another Norweigan who had made a film about him and the widder story of the miracle of vipassna in Delhi jail. There was also a fantastic ex-crackhead with tatoos all over his body and half his face.

Mr. Goenka is growing on me. I didn't totally hate him by day 9 this time anyway so I must be making progress.

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