June 04, 2006

I boned er innit.

Squatting has been a way of life for the past five years. "I feel freer than if I was renting. I can write on the walls if I want. Every time I try to settle down, I get claustrophobic and have to run. Squatting is the only time I've felt at home." She is part of a community who move round the country, seeking out empty buildings. "They have to have been derelict for a long time, otherwise it wouldn't be morally justifiable." They change the locks, set up home, restore the building, host free parties, get evicted, and move on. Despite the chaotic homelife, she finds the peace to write. "I try to have my own separate space, writing on my laptop. I've killed three so far."

Writing has been interspersed with a cycle of trance parties, squatting, moving on and getting married.


Indigobusiness said...

Boned her? You should've married her.

Deek Deekster said...

"boned" - please. find a more appropriate word. boned sounds crass, macho and boastful. how about "tasted" or "fondled" or even "tweaked"?

Anonymous said...

How about "funked" her, Deek?

You don't wanna know what we call it it in Texas.

Bones knows he's crass, Deek, it's a large part of his charm.

***WAIT***...Maybe he just shared ear rings?

Indigobusiness said...

Earwear rather, not ear rings.

DAVE BONES said...

ha ha ha cheers guys. I should have said "I boned her- and then she married someone else." ha ha ha ha ha

I.:.S.:. said...

Yes, hmm, honestly Dave. What are you, a literary groupie?

I think Becks is charming and attractive - I only met her a few times - young lady but goddamn is she English. Dave Bones too.

I can't help it. The English are the least sexual people I've ever known. Boys and girls are not brought up to like each other. Instead this weird rivalry is encouraged. The English sexual landscape is bizarre and neurotic. Maybe I'll write about it soon.

Indigobusiness said...

i.:.s.:. -You truly are a bad man, but I don't doubt a word you say.

I'd just remind you, there's also
Mr. Bonewanker and his sausage fantasies to consider.

DAVE BONES said...

shes very sexual and shes not English she is Welsh. Extremely Welsh.

DAVE BONES said...

A bad man? he's a tosser. he dishes it otu but he can't take it. Thinks he can take the piss out of the age of my girlfriend? What the fuck does he want me to say to that? At least i don't chat up 12 year olds at bus stops? At least she has pubes>

What a cunt. Why knock people down? Does it make you feel bigger? Fucking twat.Heres a lesson in life for free-
Try and knock people down and the THINK YOU ARE A CUNT. What a fucking suprise.

Indigobusiness said...

For the record: I don't doubt a word you say either, Bones.

That said, there is this damning evidence against you (regarding chatting up young girls at bus stops).

Tosser, eh? I need to write that down. Y'all have better slang than we do.

The link won't work, so I'm forced to post in full:

"Did those hurt?"

Usual question. This time from a rat-kid white trash girl hanging around the bus station in the Southern English town I grew up in.

I had just bought some chips, angry at the gradual decline in quality of the bus station chippy over the years I infrequently visited home. This time even the bags had been reduced to an unusable size and I had to empty the chips into a newspaper I had given up reading. Strange. When I first bought chips as a kid they were in newspaper. Twenty five years later I have to provide my own. Am I getting old?

"I'm getting my tongue pierced." she told me. I was immediately surrounded by her rat-kid friends who I shared my chips with.

"I've got a hole-in-the-heart. I go into hospital at the end of this week." she said.

"Maybe you should get a ring put in that too!" I said jovially. She smiled. A couple more of her friends turned up who she hugged warmly.

"I got done for A.B.H. (Actual Bodily Harm) yesterday!"

"How did you manage that?"

"I beat a girl up outside school. She called me a dirty slag." she pulled out her bail-form proudly.

I laughed.

"What are you going around beating people up for?" I asked.

"Its the second time in a week!"

"And you are going into hospital in a couple of days? What are you doing getting banged up?"

I was now surrounded by 30 or 40 white trash kids in the usual American street-wear and baseball caps.

"Don't know. I probably got to do community service but I ain't doin it."

"Do some community service. Make yourself useful. What would you have to do?"

"I don't know. Paint a church or something."

"What colour would you paint it?"

"Pink with yellow spots."

"Make sure you do. Hey, do any of your friends spit? Is anyone I rapper?" I asked, looking round her friends.

They said that a few did who weren't in the vicinity yet. They assured me they were on the way. My coach left before I got a chance to sample the word from the kids on the street of my home town.

Friendly bunch.

posted by dave bones @ Friday, October 07, 2005

DAVE BONES said...

I don't fancy schoolgirls you'll have to speak to i::::s::w::a::n::k::e::r about that.

Indigobusiness said...

I would, but I don't think he's speaking to me.

DAVE BONES said...

why what did you do?

Indigobusiness said...

Pointed out his jejune habit of missing the point, among other things.

Lazy said...

"Yeah cheers MATE I removed your comment. So fucking nihilistic aren't you? Why do you behave like you are in the fucking 1980s? You weren't even around in the 1980s the 1980s was FUCKING SHITE whatever your fucking friends tell you. Everyone behaved like a CUNT to each other like you do knocking each other down to make themselves feel better.

Fucking smell funny do I? What fucking position do you think you are in to take the fucking piss out of the age of my girlfriend? Very shaky grround aren't you?????

I don't have friends who knock me down. Those people I DONT CALL FRIENDS. Go fuck your nihilistic 80s buddies. Maybe they like being shat on by a little Napoleon twat like you. FUCK OFF"

--> I'm sorry, this was apropos what? I was very much around in the 80s but thankfully I didn't live in England.

What 80s buddies? I don't shit on anyone, I think it's a disgusting habit and anyone who thinks it's kinky should be shot.

Whatever I said, it's been deleted now so I'll never know. Must have touched a raw nerve.

Lazy said...

"he dishes it out but can't take it."

Who can't take it? Is that why you deleted my comment?

Firstly, I didn't delete your vaguely offensive comment from my blog. These days I can take anything you or anyone else can throw at me. Secondly, whatever I said was in a humorous spirit, I'm ever so sorry if it hit a raw nerve.

And thirdly, once upon a time I had a blog called "Sunday Lurches". One week I felt really depressed and down and kicked about by the world and when I logged on, an anonymous someone had left a single word in the comments: "wanker." It was the only damn comment on the whole page. Being such a sensitive and delicate soul I felt really bad and deleted the whole blog with no copy of everything I'd written. Whose comment was that?

I am an abrasive offensive cunt, and no, you don't have to talk to me if you don't like it. I still don't see what it's got to do with the 80s, though. And you're free to insult me all you like.

"at least I don't chat up 12 year olds at bus stops. At least she has pubes>"

Nor do I, although I might joke about it. Please to see Indy's comment on this one. And I don't particularly like pubic hair (nothing thpoils an intimate moment more than - ptuh! ach! cough! - a hair in your mouth), just like I don't like beards or moustaches. Safety razors are cheap. There's no excuse.

"she is Welsh"

Oh pardon me, my mistake.

Indy: "I would, but I don't think he's speaking to me."

That's just paranoia, my friend.

I.:.S.:. said...

This is censorship!! Mr Bones have deleted a valid comment on his post! Crass and boastful as it may be! Pun ("boned" er... get it? I think it is meaning to be joke) intended or not, as it may be!

Indigobusiness said...

No, Lazy, that was a joke, not paranoia.

DAVE BONES said...

shit. did he really delete the whole blog cos i wrote wanker on it? I feel full of remorse now.