September 04, 2005


Mike err... Camel has posted a link to the funniest thing I've read in ages.


There's 30 pages of this. In 10 years of squatting in London I spent the first year living with people like this twat when I didn't know any better. Junkies who I would cook up skip food for, for them to throw it up down the toilet (next to my bedroom) half an hour later. Hackney at the time was full of people who glorify squalor in such fashion. It's great to see some people are still keeping up the tradition!

my cocks shrivelled up, tummys rumbling, just had a shit and couldnt wipe my arse again. Brian sets up the rig in the corner and the sounds of Chris Liberator start getting blasted out, i huddle up to my jumpers, but someone spills his stella on my head. im freezing and feel sick.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


Videos by Professor Howdy said...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Howdy

'Thought & Humor'

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

DAVE BONES said...

Unless you are going to say something interesting FUCK OFF why don't you.

I.:.S.:. said...

" So, dave draws loads of fukin wicked pictures on this black board of traps you can set in your room so if someone comes in it gets them. best one i heard was you put a Crystal Distortion dubplate connected to a bit of string, connected to a dredlock that when released pulls the pin out of the Dolphin lighter and sparks up a load of Animal Niterate which makes your arsehole explode. fucking DAVE MATE! u da don dada..."

I.:.S.:. said...

It's by the same guy, incidentally, as the ketamine video on Socialist Wanker. Get in touch with him and ask him to do something for the site...

DAVE BONES said...

You are fucking joking! That video is fantastic!

Which page is the quote you are refering to on? I thought you'd made that up! He's going to die in a pool of his own vomit and then his story's going to become a best seller.

If he had money he'd die much sooner.

I like the way Chris Lib, Crystal Distortion and the Heedfuk posse love to live amongst these people so much still. Especially Chris Lib considering his lifestyle.

He'd be great for Socialistwanker innit.

DAVE BONES said...

I stuck Sparkle and the scrutinator up as very different approaches on Republican thinking up.

I hope you don't mind.

I'm trying to think of a way of presenting them better. We need some sort of comment ability to make a proper "arena"

I'm looking into it.